Archive for July, 2012

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The Treasure of Stillness

Posted July 31, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net/ Photouten

It’s something our world today never seems to engage in. Our youngest generations don’t even know what it means, let alone how to be still. But it is the one act—or lack of acting—that can make the difference between success and burnout.

A few weeks ago I had been working very hard on developing a new course. My mind was boggled with all the ideas. Things just weren’t coming together. I had charts and ideas taped to the wall inside my home office. But it was like Jello in a pan in 90 degree heat. It just wouldn’t gel.

One morning I sat on my patio doing, well, nothing. I just stared out into the morning with no particular thoughts in my head. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the contents of the course jumped out and danced before me. I knew exactly where each of those pieces on my wall fit into the puzzle.

Later in the day I realized my mind was able to do that because it was at rest. It was free from demand during those precious few moments and it resulted in a stroke of genius.

Having moments in your day where you have absolutely nothing happening is vital to your success in whatever you do in life. In fact, Michael Hyatt wrote about it yesterday in his blog as well. He is one of the busiest men I know and he began this practice recently while on vacation. It made so much difference in his life already.

There are a few key strategies you must follow in order for this to be effective:

 You must actually do nothing. Absolutely nothing. This is not a multi-tasking activity.

 You must be alone. Yes, not even petting your dog qualifies as the practice of stillness.

 Sorry, no electronics. If you have some relaxing music (without words) like waves on the seashore or birds in the forest, you can use that.

 Set a timer for 15-20 minutes. If you have a finite period of time and set an alarm or timer, you will be able to completely disconnect without guilt knowing you will be alerted when your time is up.

 No journaling, reading, or any other activity. That includes driving. The key is to be still.

 Do it every single day. You will be amazed at the difference it will make in your life, your creativity and your outlook.

This sounds so simple—even unnecessary—but I promise you it will make a huge difference. And, just for the record, it IS necessary. Give yourself this wonderful gift. You deserve it!

Today’s Challenge: Find a place where you can spend a few minutes every day in stillness and solitude. Determine a time when you will do this each day. Tell everyone who may interrupt you what you are doing and gain their cooperation. Oh, and START TODAY!

Do you already have a stillness time in your day? Did you just start today? Share your experience here.

 

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Stuck on the Side of the Road

Posted July 30, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

This weekend I took a road trip to northern Florida. Normally I’d avoid the interstate and opt for a more scenic drive but I had an appointment so I needed the fastest route.

Heading north on Interstate 95, I passed several broken down vehicles. I so felt for these individuals. It was in the upper 90’s with no shade, no breeze and no one stopping to assist.

I began to notice the people… no surprise there. Some were angry. They’d kick the ground and punch the sky with clinched fist. Others seemed helpless. They looked as though they could just curl up in a ball and die.

There were also the amazingly resourceful ones. I passed one family with four children who’d found a safe place away from the traffic and were actively engaged in a game of touch football.

One lady had pulled out a chair, attached her umbrella with a bungy cord and sat engrossed in some book. She was oblivious to the hundreds of vehicles zooming by her.

Two elderly men sat facing each other on five gallon paint buckets. A third bucket sat between them holding a checker board. I could not tell who was winning. My guess is both were.

None of these individuals expected to be stranded on the side of the road on a July Saturday. When the unexpected happened, these individuals made a decision to make the best of it. Here are a few things you can learn from them:

Attitude is everything! It won’t always prevent calamity but it will always determine who you get through it.

You are creative. God has given you the ability to figure out a way to endure the challenges in your life and creatively get through to the other side.

You can make the best of anything. I’ve no doubt time passed quickly to those stranded folks. Today rather than talking about how awful their Saturday was, they’re probably playing another game or reading another book.

Remember Charles Dickens’ opening sentence in a Tale of Two Cities: It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. That’s really true of every situation. The good news is that it is all up to you.

You’re controlling whether any situation becomes the best or worst experience of your life. You may find yourself stuck on the side of your life road, but you don’t have to be stranded.

Today’s challenge: Identify the areas of your life where you feel like you’re stuck on the side of the road and list at least three ways you can make the situation better, or easier to endure.

Do you feel stuck? Is it making you angry or are you making the best of it? Share it here. I’d love to hear from you. 

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On the Go!

Posted July 27, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net/ Idea Go

I apologize for the last couple of week’s blogging… or lack thereof, but I’ve been doing lots of unexpected travel, speaking, teaching and coaching. It has been a whirlwind of an experience but it has been exhilarating. The lives I have touched and helped are incredible.

Though at the end of these trips and long weeks my body is screaming to stop, my heart and soul says give me more. I am so passionate about helping others live their dream, it doesn’t seem to matter that I’m physically tired.

Now that I’m back on a regular blog schedule, I have a question for you. What are you passionate about? What is it that you dream of doing in your life that would drive you to travel, exhaust your energy to the point that you drop in bed at the end of a long day and immediately fall asleep?

There is something inside you that you are destined to accomplish. Something that only you can contribute to the world. Do you know what that is? For thousands who descended upon London in the last few days, it’s to go for the gold. For mountain climbers, it might be to stand at the top of the world at the summit of Mount Everest.

No matter what it is, you have a mark to leave on this world within your lifetime. If you can latch onto that, it will propel you forward through every obstacle you face. Passion for your destiny produces energy, patience, tenacity, determination, courage and a host of other attributes.

Find what you are passionate about and I guarantee you’ll never work another day in your life. You’ll rise to greet each new day with excitement and anticipation. And at the end of the day, you’ll be tired but satisfied that you have lived the life you are destined to live.

Weekend Challenge: Take some time to ponder what you are passionate about and record that in a journal. Answer this very tough question: what are you doing about your passion today?

What are you passionate about? How are you pursuing that? What challenges have you had? Share them here!

 

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I’m Possible, the New Impossible

Posted July 23, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

 

Courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net/ Michal Marcol

In 1995, Cheryl Strayed really had strayed. Her mother had died of cancer, her syblings scattered to the wind. Trying to satisfy a need inside her, she was unfaithful to her husband, and even experimented with heroine. Her marriage ended in ruin and Cheryl found herself working as a waitress in Minnesota and living in a studio apartment. She was all alone and had lost the most important thing in her life… herself.

As fate would have it, a snowstorm sent her to an outdoor equipment store to buy a shovel. While standing in line to check out, she picked up a book about the Pacific Crest Trail. It was over 1500 miles of wilderness from the Mexican border in the Mojave Desert to Canada along the crest of several mountain ranges.

Cheryl knew she must do this. She quit her job and set out to find herself in the wilderness. She’d never backpacked in her life. The boots she purchased were too small and she packed about 50 pounds of stuff in her pack.

Over the next three months, Cheryl walked alone on two feet of trail. Experts would have warned her against it for a myriad of reasons. She was inexperienced, out of shape and female. A three month trek of that magnitude would have been suicide.

It was excruciating and filled with hardship. On the trail, she went days without seeing a single other human being. Yet she kept going. She made it to the end. She’d done the impossible and found herself in the process.

Cheryl Strayed chronicles her journey in her new book, Wild, one of Oprah’s 2.0 book club picks. I watched an interview with the two of them with the beautiful PCT in the background and was amazed at how in touch this woman was with herself.

She is now remarried and has two beautiful children and really understands what led to her downward spiral. She also knows who she is and all that she is capable of accomplishing, if only she kept putting one foot in front of the other.

Cheryl did what you can also do. Perhaps you won’t strap on a fifty pound backpack and walk for thousands of miles in the wilderness, but you can complete your own hike. You can walk through your own wilderness, and carry your weight on your own shoulders. And, you can discover who you really are and what you can accomplish when you keep moving.

People like Cheryl Strayed—and you—know how to turn impossible into I’m Possible. One foot… over and over… carrying the weight to the end of your wilderness trail. You owe it to yourself to do that. You deserve to discover what you can accomplish. So, what are you waiting for?

Today’s Challenge:Take time to discover what your wilderness journey should be and make a plan to make the trek. Write your plan in a journal.

So what is your wilderness trek? Why not share it here!

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You’re Great I AM

Posted July 20, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net/ dan

This week I had the privilege of providing the Keynote Speech at a college graduation ceremony. Young men and women had overcome insurmountable odds to earn the right to be called graduate.

Most of them had individuals in their lives who did not believe in them, and constantly tried to tell them they would fail. But, defying the naysayers, these students boldly overcame every obstacle and jumped over each hurtle in search of their dream.

As I stood at the podium and looked out into the sea of caps and gowns, I was reminded of so many things I want to share with you as you pursue your dreams.

There is no goal too lofty that you cannot achieve it. No matter what it is, you have within you the ability to achieve it.

There is no mountain too high that you cannot climb it. One step at a time, however agonizing it may be, will eventually get you to the top.

There is no dream too big that you cannot make it come true. Walt Disney said, “If you can dream it, you can do it.” How true he was.

We gathered together to recognize and celebrate the fact that each one of those graduates had become a GREAT I AM. They can square themselves in the face of the world and say, “I AM a success. I AM somebody. I AM a graduate!”

These students made their dreams come true. So can you. Whatever that dream is, you have the ability to make it happen. You have within you the guts and the courage to boldly go where you have never gone before in search of your dream.

Remember that. Embrace it.

You are not in a dress rehearsal. And because this is your one shot at life, from this moment on, don’t live a single day trying to be someone you were not destined to be. Dream your dreams. Dream big and chase that dream with every ounce of your being.

If you do that, in the end, you will be able to look back over your life and all you’ve accomplished and say one final grand “I AM”.  You’ll be able to say, “I AM SATISFIED, that I lived the life I was destined to live.”

Your Weekend challenge:Spend some time getting clear about your dream(s). Write them down and meditate on them. Remind yourself you have what it takes to make it come true.

What’s your dream? What must you do before you draw your last breath? Share it here.

 

 

 

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I Lost My Job

Posted July 19, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net/ Idea Go

It happened. One day I got up, went into work, but on my superwoman robe and got ready to save the world. Little did I know that would be the day I would be fired. Without any warning whatsoever, I lost my job as CEO of the Universe.

I went home with my tail tucked between my legs. I paced and proclaimed that the Universe did NOT know what it was doing. How could it survive without ME at the helm?!

Day after wretched day I moaned and lamented about being ousted. Suddenly, in the middle of my rant, I realized something had changed. My shoulders felt lighter, perhaps from having the weight of the world taken off them. I was relaxed and had more energy. My stomach didn’t churn and my head didn’t ache from the stress of managing such a large responsibility.

I was free.

I began to re-evaluate why I became CEO of the Universe in the first place. Then it hit me. I was not given the job. I stole it. I promoted myself to that position and grabbed the responsibility of being the one in charge of everything. I was never meant to have that title. I just decided it was the job for me. I became a squatter in the CEO’s office.

Closer examination showed me I’d lost my passion: helping people be all they can be. I’d been too busy running things. I wasn’t happy. In fact, I was tired, cranky and generally hating the universe I was running.

I never thought I would be glad to lose my job but with every passing day, I am more and more excited that I was stripped of the title. I don’t miss the corner office. I’m okay with not having to spin the planets and light up the stars. I don’t mind being a minion in the Universe.

Now, as my Superwoman’s cape hangs in the closet, I’m making the best of my unemployment. I coach wonderful people in the direction of their calling and talents. I meet people all over the world who are incredible people. I enjoy every minute of life at the bottom of the Universal Totem Pole!

I don’t have to be CEO of the Universe. Know what? Neither do you. If you’ve taken up the responsibility of making the entire cosmos run smoothly, isn’t it time for you to give up a little of that control? Being a peon is actually a positive thing! Come to the bottom of the Universe with me. It’s wonderful down here!.

Today’s Challenge:Take time to evaluate where you have taken on responsibilities that are not really yours. Record those things in a journal, and brainstorm at least one way you can relieve yourself of those responsibilities.

Do you feel like you have been drafted into being CEO of the Universe? Are you buckling under the weight on your shoulders? Why not share it here.

 

 

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The Great I AM

Posted July 16, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net

Words have enormous power. Just speak them and they set off a chain reaction in your body that creates a reality based on what you said. That’s why it’s important that you’re telling yourself the right thing.

What is it that you want to accomplish in life? What is your dream? To be a dancer? To publish that best-selling novel? What about finding the cure for cancer? No matter what noble quest you have in your heart, one of the key strategies to success is speaking it.

Whatever it is that you are working towards becoming, tell yourself “I AM that”. Want to lose weight? Don’t say, “I hope I’ll be able to slim down.” Instead proclaim, “I AM on a plan to live healthy and change my weight.”

That’s precisely why athletes say they are a champion. And you thought it was because they were arrogant? Well, for some, perhaps, but most of the time it is to get their body and mind in line with their dream of being a champion.

When you say, “I AM”, you release the creative juices that put you in the best posture to reach your goal successfully. I’m not suggesting a name it and claim it or blab it and grab it mentality. No matter how many times I say, “I AM 25 years old”, it ain’t gonna happen. Likewise, I can say, “I AM the world’s champion at the Ironman Triathlon” and I’ll not be, mainly because I’m not going to go swimming in the ocean.

And the great news? You are in total, complete, 100% control over what comes out of your mouth. Your words are yours and yours alone. You can speak positive things into your life or sabotage your dream.

No matter what others say, regardless of the current circumstances, you can change your life by speaking powerful words into them. Watch what you say. It really does matter!

Today’s challenge:listen to what you say today about yourself, your dream and your future and determine if it’s creating positive energy or depleting it. Write it in a journal, along with positive affirmations you could replace it with.

What are some of the positive or negative things you say about yourself, your life and your dream? Share it here!

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It’s Impossible, and Other Untrue Statements

Posted July 12, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

In the mid 1980’s a man in Minnesota lost his wife to breast cancer and was forced to raise his children as a single parent. One day he decided that he wanted to do something to raise awareness to this very common occurrence.

Terry Hitchcock decided he would run from Minneapolis to Atlanta… in just 75 days! That would require that he run an entire marathon each and every day for seventy five long days. His goal was to reach Atlanta by the time the Olympic torch entered the stadium at the 1996 Olympics.

There were just a few tiny obstacles. First, no one (except perhaps Forrest Gump) could run 75 daily marathons. It was impossible for even the most fit distance runners, let alone a 57 year old, overweight man in poor health. Yet he set out to train to meet his goal.

 

Terry Hitchcock Clicks Off Miles

While training for this impossible feat, he suffered a heart attack. The doctors told him he would die if he went through with his plan. Yet, his determination to bring awareness to this cause propelled him forward. On the 75th day before the start of the Olympics, Terry set off on his journey, accompanied by his team of his children, a trainer, and two other individuals.

He ran through cold, rain, over hills and alongside bears. Less than halfway through his journey, his team abandoned him. They took the RV and returned to Minnesota. Only one son remained. They had no money, no place to stay, and only a ragged car packed full of all his food, suppliments and supplies.

Terry suffered stress fractures in both ankles, heat exhaustion, and was hospitalized overnight for what doctors thought was another heart attack. He checked himself out the next morning and continued on his quest.

Terry Stopped in Severe Pain

 

On the 75th day, Terry stood on the side of the road and the Olympic Torch was brought into Atlanta and Mohammad Ali lit the flame inside the Olympic Stadium. Terry had done what everyone said he could not do. He managed the impossible.

Terry was not an elite athlete. He’d never run a day in his life. Yet, through determination and a dream, he put one foot in front of the other for thirty miles each and every day for seven and a half weeks and accomplished his goal. You can check out his award winning documentary film “My Run” here.

If Terry Hitchcock can do this, you can also live your dream. It was difficult, agonizingly so at times but he made it to his finish line. He is no more special or talented than you. In fact, my bet is you are more talented at what you dream of doing.

Terry taught us the impossible is not really impossible. You can live your dream. If you want it badly enough, nothing can stop you. YOU. CAN. DO. IT!

Today’s Challenge:Set a bold goal and write it in a journal. List the steps you can determine you will need to take in order to achieve your bold goal.

What is your (not-so) impossible dream? Share it here!

 

 

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Finding True North in the Hearts of Others

Posted July 10, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net/ Sommai

There is a wonderful, gratifying feeling you receive when you touch the heart of another human being for good. You glide through your day as if you are walking on air. You’re surrounded by a peace that passes all understanding. There is no greater feeling than knowing something you did or said pierced the heart of another and made a positive difference in their lives.

We’re wired to help each other. To reach out in times of need. To treat them the way we want to be treated. It brings out the best in us and ushers in peace into our own hearts. Here are a few ways helping others helps us more.

Helping others releases happy chemicals. Each time you genuinely reach out to help others in their time of need, it releases specific chemicals in the brain that make you feel really good.

Connecting with another’s heart keeps you anchored. Even if the one you reach out to is a complete stranger, when you touch their heart, it illuminates your own true north. You can see the shore and navigate easily through rough waters.

It gives you a sense of purpose. Having a specific purpose is like the difference between being a bystander and the hero who pries someone out of a crumpled vehicle with the jaws of life.

Reaching out to others helps you sleep. You will have such a sense of peace, when you pillow your head at the end of the day, you will fall into blissful slumber. Your body, mind, soul and spirit will be in one accord. Peaceful slumber will naturally come.

You’ll pay it forward. Yes, it really does work. Give into the lives of others and it will be returned unto you, pressed down, shaken together and running over. There will be a moment in time when you are in need of someone. From seemingly nowhere, a hand will reach out to you, connecting with your heart and pulling you away from the edge of the cliff.

You have opportunities each and every day to reach out to others. To connect with them. To touch their hearts and change their lives. You never know the impact of your reaction to them, right then in that instant. You will impact them, for better or for worse. Choose better. Do good and good will return to you. Change their life and it will change yours.

Today’s Challenge: Find someone to reach out to today and make a positive difference in them today. Record your experience in a journal.

When was the most memorable recent experience of when you reached out to someone? Share it here!

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Why My Online Shopping Will Help You Succeed

Posted July 9, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

I’m kinesthetic. I have to pick something up, turn it over a dozen times before I buy. But five years ago, I began ordering online whenever possible. The reason could help you succeed.

One Saturday during a long run in the Florida midday heat, my heart rate monitor died. If I were twenty five, that would have been no major deal but at fifty-five, it was HUGE. I had a training schedule to keep and me training without a monitor in Central Florida in July was unthinkable.

I have a very small wrist and knew there was only one store in the area that would be most likely to carry one small enough for me, yet performed the functions I needed. So, I bit the bullet and made the 35 mile trek to the big name store.

I was un-greeted at the front door by three associates who were too involved in their personal conversation than to welcome me. I made three laps around the store unable to find the monitors. Finally I went back to the front and interrupted their conversation. They simply said, “in the fitness section”. Of course. What was I thinking?! I must be a moron.

I went back to an empty fitness section to find the monitors locked. I waited for three days… ok, so it was only ten minutes but you get my point. Knowing I would either have to do something or scrub the day’s workout, I went to another department to ask if they could call someone. If she clicked her tongue one more time…

Finally, a snail walked as slowly as he possibly could to the heart rate monitors on the wall. I touched two boxes and said I’d like to see those two. How hard is that? He pulled down the two that were closest to him. I said, “I need the smaller one.” He replied, “Lady, they’re all the same.”

I resisted the urge to kill him and simply touched the box again and repeated, “this is the one I want to see.” He let out a hiss and with great consternation, gave me my Ironman ladies Triathlon heart rate monitor.

This experience with customer-no-service is exactly why I shop online. Buttons don’t cop attitudes, ignore me, or tell me things that just aren’t true. Why is this important to you?

In today’s society of lack of service and ignoring customers, all you have to do is to provide good customer service and you’re a shoe in for success. You can have a pretty good product (like food), but if you provide really GREAT customer service, people will come back again and again.

We’re starving for good customer service. You provide it and you’ll have a waiting list a mile long, no matter what your business. Tomorrow I’m going to give you some tips on how to “do unto others…” in a way that will also bring YOU some really great enjoyment and success. Until then, my best advice for you is to order online!

What was your worst experience with customer service? How did it make you feel? How can you use that to further you toward your own goal? Why not share it here.

 

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