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5 Reasons Why You Should NOT Quit!

Posted May 10, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

In a previous blog post, Five Reasons Why People Quit,  I talked about the five reasons people quit pursuing their dreams. Today, I want to flip the coin and discuss the other side. In my blog post, Three Feet From Gold, I talk about how close a person may be to their dream when they abandon it.

It’s sad, really, but fortunately you don’t have to quit. In fact, most of the time, you should NOT quit. Here are five reasons why I believe this.

1) You may be inches away from a breakthrough. History has proven that many of the greatest successes have occurred because dreamers hung on just a tiny bit longer than those who quit.

2) Quitting sucks energy. You may be exhausted from all the effort you put into your dream, but with little or no positive results. You think you’ll feel better by stopping but that just won’t happen. You’ll actually feel more emotionally exhausted than ever.

3) Winners never quit. Winners may lose but they will never, never, never quit. They will dig in their heels and struggle to the bitter end. They truly understand it’s not over until it is.

4) You’ll miss out on lessons. Every person who has tried and not succeeded on the first try gained invaluable information that ultimately caused them to succeed. If you quit, that information will be lost and the world will be without your brilliance.

5) It becomes a habit. Once you start down that slippery slope, you’ll gain momentum. The only problem, it’s in the wrong direction. It’s fast and as you click off each inch of your downward spiral, you have no choice but to repeat your actions, over and over again.

Here’s how it works with most. You give up and abandon the pursuit of your dream. At first, you feel relieved. After all, you’ve worked really hard for a long time. But as you take time to enjoy your surroundings with the extra time you suddenly have on your hands, it begins to sink in. You’ve just chained yourself to that unfulfilling life you were trying to get out of. Eventually, you come face to face with the reality that you gave up your ticket out of your humdrum life by giving up your dream.

Quitting is not something that you will ever be happy with when it comes to pursuing your dream. If you quit, you’ll have a life of fulfillment and regret. Living your dream is a whole lot more fun. Not to mention way too important to remain unlived!

Have you ever quit pursuing your dream? What led you to that? Did you resist the temptation to quit? How? Share it here!

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Today, Trust in the Nature of YOU

Posted May 9, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.
CRANE5One morning I sat on my deck overlooking the lake as central Florida woke up to a Sunday. I watched as a lily white whooping crane spread his massive wings, fly out over the water and bring back a little fish. It was comical how it slithered down his narrow throat.

A white ibis rooted out grub worms with his long, slender bill while a young squirrel hung to an oak tree enjoying his morning acorns. In the distance, a black cormorant walked to the shoreline underwater, then spread his massive black wings in the sun to dry. I was struck at how naturally these creatures just did what they do. No fretting. No worrying about whether they should do it. No wondering what the other would think.

Each approached life very differently. The crane flew for food and ate fish. The white ibis dug deep for earth worms. And the squirrel stayed up in the tree and fed off nuts. Yet they were all at peace. They lived and did their thing cohabiting with each other. The squirrel never tried to fly and the crane did not try to pluck acorns out of the oak tree.

I began to wonder what the world would be like if we all lived our lives this way. How much peace would you have in your life right now if you just did what you were created to do? What if you got up on a Sunday morning and just accepted who you are and go about your day doing what feels natural to you?

I believe that is the natural order of things. How God created us. Just like my feathered friends, we have a distinctive purpose. What’s more, we instinctively know what we are supposed to do and how we are to do it. Problem is, we’re watching the squirrels eat nuts when we’re supposed to be grabbing fish from under the surface of the water on the fly.

CORCORAN1As you begin your day, I urge you to be who you are. Do what you were created to do. Don’t worry that you can’t walk underwater like the cormorant. Be the best YOU that you can be.

So what do you think your natural self looks like? Tell me about the authentic YOU. When you enter a new day, do you show up completely authentically you? Share it here!

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[Podcast] Episode 6: What to Do When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan with Beth K. Vogt

Posted May 8, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

 In today’s episode, I interview novelist Beth K. Vogt.  Her second novel, Catch a Falling Star,  hit the bookstore shelves yesterday. She candidly shares about life’s story question, “What do you do when life doesn’t go according to plan?”

Author Beth K. Vogt is living her dream

Author Beth K. Vogt is living her dream

 

You can also see an interview I did with Beth on May 1, 2012, the day her first novel, Wish You Were Here, launched.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-ti0X4DRHU

 

 

 

 

 

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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30 Seconds to Live

Posted May 6, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

stopwatchImagine that you were told you only have 30 seconds to live. What would you do? Call your spouse? Kiss your children? Write a paragraph? Drop to your knees and beg for more time?

One thing’s for sure, you wouldn’t waste it doing something that doesn’t matter. No way you’d squander those precious moments. You’d live them to their fullest. Make them count.

Well, you DO only have 30 seconds to live… in a particular moment. There’s someone right there where you are who needs your help. You have what it takes to solve their problem. Yet, so often you (and I) sit there as those seconds tick by unused.

Once time has passed, you cannot get it back. The opportunity is lost. You’ll NEVER have that moment in time again.

So what should you do about it? Live each moment as if you only had 30 seconds to live. Make the most impact in that moment. Do the most good. Live that moment to its fullest.

If your clock were ticking, fear of doing something wouldn’t even enter your mind. You’d just do it. You’d ride that bull or jump out of that plane. You’d tell that person how much you love them, or give your last moment of time to enrich their lives.

You wouldn’t worry about what they thought of your actions. You’d reach out with the best of YOU.time square at night in manhattan

Time waits for no person. It ticks away, taking opportunity with it.

One of the greatest 30 seconds in my life was when I was given a diagnosis of cancer. It suddenly placed in the forefront of my mind the truth we all live with each day:

None of us is guaranteed tomorrow.

During those 30 seconds, when faced with the reality that life could evade me, I made a decision to live each moment to its fullest. I’d make a difference today more than yesterday and if I was granted a tomorrow, I’d do more. Be more.

ELDERLY WOMAN THROUGH WINDOWWhat is it that you’ve dreamed of doing but you haven’t? Maybe you were waiting for the all-illusive “someday”. Amazing how that day isn’t on the calendar. You have 30 seconds right now. Ready? Go!

What will you do with that? Live your dream, or sit idly by while the seconds rush by? I hope you grab your dream by the reigns and ride it into reality. You deserve it. The world needs it. Just do it. Now!

What would you do if you only had 30 seconds? Share it here!

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So, What Will I Do Tomorrow?

Posted May 3, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Runner Crouching at Starting LineIn 1976, Bruce Jenner won the gold medal in the Olympic Decathlon. He spontaneously ran a victory lap, kissed his wife and basked in the moment he’d dedicated each free moment to for years.

Later that night, while champagne bottle corks popped off to honor his amazing accomplishment, Bruce sat alone in a hotel room and cried. He’d given his all to the decathlon. Every waking moment was spent in pursuit of the gold. Now that he had it, he felt strangely empty, not knowing what he would do now that he reached his goal.

He told an interviewer, “I have no plan. What will I do tomorrow?”

History is filled with individuals just like Bruce who dedicated their entire life to reach a goal, only to be left empty and void. What’s ELDERLY WOMAN THROUGH WINDOWmore, there are some who, instead of setting goals for themselves, they allowed themselves to be lead around by a leash. They have no plans. Life jerks them wherever it wants to each and every day.

We simply must take these following steps. If we don’t, in our finest hour we will sit alone and empty lamenting the question that burns in our soul: What Will I Do Tomorrow?

1)   Understand that you will most assuredly NEED another goal when you reach the one you are currently on. If you don’t have a goal, stop reading this, sit down and set a goal.

2)   Always have the next goal locked and loaded. I have notes and ideas for a book sitting ready to dive into as soon as I reach my current goal. You should always be looking into the future and letting it be a part of your thoughts and planning. When you reach the current goal, after a well-deserved rest, you’ll be ready to start your new chapter.

3)   Stop focusing on the destination. The trip is where the treasure is. Reaching the destination is great, but it’s also the end of that particular journey. If you look to the destination, the second you arrive, it’s over. If you take in all the splendor of the trip, you have wonderful memories to cherish. Not to mention a whole lot of wisdom you gained along the way.

Rocky Top Bikers MSP4)   Take time to celebrate each accomplishment. Bruce may not have thought his improvement in the javelin throw was all that huge a deal in the overall quest of the decathlon gold medal. But, I guarantee you he would not have felt so lonely, lost and empty if he’d taken the time to celebrate those milestones along the route to the victory lap.

So tell me, how would you answer if I asked you what will you do tomorrow?

Do you have a goal? A dream? Does the flame of passion for something burn brightly in your soul? Share it here. 

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When the Crap Hits Your Sleeve: How an Entrepreneur Handles Trouble

Posted April 29, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

PigeonLast night I was sitting at an outdoor crab shack with a group of brilliant writers. If there were a writer’s heaven here on earth, I was there! I was in the company of award winning authors Susan May Warren, Rachel Hauck, Lisa Jordan, Edie Melson and others. It was amazing.

Then it happened. From the beautiful stately Wesley oak above our table, a bird decided it was time to take care of business. And, the rest was spatter… all over my shirt sleeve.

At that instant, I figured, I had three options:

1) I could throw my drink at the bird. But, he was too high and I was thirsty.

2) I could get upset and retreat to the parking lot. But I was enjoying the conversation and was really hungry.

3) I could rinse off my sleeve and continue with the conversation, happy that I didn’t allow a little inconvenience spoil an Sibling Rivalryotherwise perfect evening.

I opted for number three. We had a grand time of laughing, sharing, and gorging ourselves on the best food in the lower eastern seaboard. It was amazing.

Entrepreneurs think differently about adversity. We see trouble for what it is, wipe up the mess and just keep moving forward. I got help from those who saw my plight. Someone handed me paper towels while someone filled a straw with water and hosed down my sleeve. We all thought of immediate remedies to my challenge. Entrepreneurial ingenuity at work.

When crap hits your sleeve, that is the precise moment that divides entrepreneurs from those who haven’t developed that spirit. Those poor souls complain, become the victim, or accept the lie that they are meant  to be the porta-potty for all things fowl. Without a doubt, that’s nothing but stinkin’ thinkin’.

Spraying One Another with Hose While Washing DogGet with the program. Take it in stride. Determine that you’re going to wipe up the mess and keep right on enjoying your life, your company and the amazing moment in time God has created to bless you. See the setbacks for what they are. Nothing more, nothing less.

Birds may crap on your sleeve. Wipe it off. It may rain on your parade. So what? Learn to dance in the rain. Understand that some days you’ll be the statue, and other days you’ll be the pigeon. Don’t become a victim of things that just happen. Simply do what needs to be done. If you do, I can promise you that you’ll be happier, and the passion for life and entrepreneurship will be unstoppable. 

What crap has hit your sleeve? How did you handle it? Share it here!

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Your Attitude Changes Everything!

Posted April 26, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Chips and SalsaA while back, I really felt discouraged. No matter what I did, I didn’t feel like I met the needs of my clients. I would try one thing…it wouldn’t work… I’d try another… it seemed to flop. I wanted to pull my hair out. I felt like a failure. I really wanted to have a pity party so I went to lunch at a local hole-in-the wall cantina. I nabbed a table in the corner and began the mindless mantra of chips, salsa and Diet Pepsi.

Suddenly, a group of nine people (yes, I counted…they were very loud and were crashing my pity party) entered the small restaurant. They busied themselves pushing tables together, screeching chairs on the tile floor, all the while chattering and laughing.

How dare they?!

Then it happened. Ever have one of those moments when you get the wild desire to do something completely irrational and out of Couple Working in Homeless Sheltercharacter? Yeah, me too. Right then and there. So, I did what any crazy person would do in my place… I snuck into their group and sat down at their table.

I don’t know what caused me to do that. The zany thought suddenly popped into my mind and I immediately acted on it. They were discussing football and I chimed right in. We laughed, joked, high-fived each other and basked in the victories of our favorite teams. About fifteen minutes after the meals were delivered, a female across the table from me looked at me with that confused puppy-dog face and said, “Excuse me, who are you?”

Busted! The gig was up. I laughed hysterically and confessed. I picked up their tab and thanked them for a really fun lunch. When I got back to my office I realized my mulligrubs were gone. My crazy action and the fun I had pulling off the caper completely changed my attitude!

I realized my circumstances weren’t bringing me down. After all, not one circumstance at my office had changed during my hour lunch adventure. The same challenges greeted me when I walked back in the door. No, it was me who had changed. My attitude was lighter. More energized. The creativity began to flow and I began brainstorming ideas and ways I could change things. Things looked different. Felt different. Seemed manageable.

Young Woman Sitting in Front of a Computer and LaughingI’m sure you suffer from this same emotional self-destruction that I did. We all do. It’s called being human. But, the great news is that we have within us the power to change our attitude at any given moment.

Certainly, there are things out of your control, hurricanes and flooding just to name a couple. But, you are in total-yes, absolute, complete—control over how you react to it. Isn’t that awesome?

When you are the sourpuss that I was that day, remember you can change your attitude in an instant. No matter what challenges you face, you are in charge of how you react to them. And, if your attitude is positive, futuristic, upbeat and excited, you can sneak into a lunch party and have a great time… uhh, I mean you can conquer their world!

Be your own attitude adjuster.

So what’s your attitude story? Share it here!

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In Honor of Boston: Winning Life From Last Place

Posted April 23, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Girl Crossing the Finish LineThe New York City Marathon is arguably the second all-time greatest marathons in the world. All the fastest runners compete for the gold medal. Everyone who crosses the finish line gets a finisher’s medal. After all, anyone who can keep putting one foot in front of the other for 26.2 consecutive miles deserves one!

Even the slowest runners/walkers make the trek in six hours or less. Except for New York. That marathon holds the world’s record for the longest time ever: over 33 hours. What’s more, the same person has come in last place in the last 23 NYC marathons. Zoe Koplowitz has crossed the line after everyone else for the last two and a half decades.

Think about it. She has viewed her running life from last place. As a runner, I’d be devastated. But not Zoe. She is determined. Dedicated. Daring. You see, Zoe faces every marathon with Multiple Sclerosis and has to have crutches to get around. Since 1987, every November she steps across the start line early on a Sunday morning, signaling the start of her individual race. Sometime the next day, Zoe crosses the finish line to the applause of those who waited for her to cheer her on to victory.

She doesn’t know what it feels like to break the tape with the fastest time. Nor does she get the encouragement of the other “runners”.little girl on road They left her in the dust. No, Zoe pushes herself with an intestinal fortitude that propels her to put one crutch in front of foot, then the other crutch and foot for thirty three hours.

Sometimes I feel like Zoe. Perhaps you do, too. You clearly recognize the view from last place. It seems EVERYONE is ahead of you. But, just like Zoe, you take whatever life has dished out to you, use whatever crutches you have, and slowly put one foot in front of the other. It may take you a lot longer to make it across the finish line but so what?!

Only one person gets the winner’s medal. Everyone who finishes the marathon gets a finisher’s medal. It’s not about coming in first. It’s about finishing the race. The view from last place is amazing when you are running the greatest marathon. So slow down, enjoy the scenery and keep moving forward!

HEADER PICTURE largeThis week, why not ponder these questions regarding what you’d like to do with the rest of your life. I would recommend you start a life plan journal. Think on these things:

      1)   What would I really like to spend the second half of my life doing?

      2)   Where am I right now in relation to that goal?

      3)   What do I need to do in order to get there?

 Finally, ask yourself this:

      4)   Am I willing to do what it takes to live my dream? If not, why not?

Share your plan here in the comments section. I’d love to hear your plan.

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Five Ways to Live Out Loud Today!

Posted April 19, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Confident BabyThere are those who limp through life with no real direction or sense of fulfillment. You can look at them and tell they are just not happy. In fact, they’re downright miserable and seem to want to pull everyone in their midst down into their pity pit with them.

Then there are those individuals who grab life by the horns and take it for a ride. Even the worst challenges are exciting adventures for them. They are the people you always want to be around… just like all the other members of the groupies who flock around them wherever they go.

You may be thinking the second person has charisma, is more extroverted or has taken the Dale Carnegie course on How to Win Friends and Influence People. While those things may or may be true, one thing’s for certain. They chose to be like that. Yes, they consciously decided they would get all the goodie out of the day and just go for it.

Which person do you want to be? If you want to be the first one, perhaps you should stop reading now. But if you really want to be the Woman Tending to Gardentype of person who lives out loud, keep reading because I have five immediate ways to Live Out Loud!

1) Don’t take yourself so seriously because no one else is. You’re not perfect. You’ll make mistakes, perhaps even before you finish reading this blog post. So what? No one expects you be perfect. You can set your goal as perfection but set your standard at excellence.

2) Know things NEVER turn out exactly the way you plan. That’s life. If you always expect things to go according to your best laid plans, prepare for disappointment. Life can be equally as gratifying—sometimes more—when they turn out differently.

3) Correct your vision. No, I’m not talking about myopia, I’m referring to how you see things. While person number one above would clearly see the negative in every situation, there is another side. A positive side, filled with adventure and excitement.

4) Step outside for a while. No, I’m not expecting you go wander out in the middle of a blizzard or hurricane. But you should routinely step outside your comfort zone. Very successful people have become comfortable with being uncomfortable. You should too.


Family Running Together5) Celebrate and appreciate. Take a victory lap for those great things that happen in your life and appreciate the lessons learned during the challenging times. You’ll be a well-rounded person who takes life by the horns and lives out loud.

These five things can be implemented immediately in your life. They won’t cost you a penny but will increase your value and worth exponentially. This really is the only fool-proof get rich program!

So what can you do right now to live out loud? Don’t object. Just do it! Write about your experience here. Yes, right now. I’ll wait.

How have you lived out loud today? How do you wish you had? Share it here!

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Some Days You Win, Some Days the Mountain Wins

Posted April 18, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Mountain womanYesterday I decided to do a longer than normal run, quite a lofty goal since 1) It was very hot and sunny in mid afternoon when I love to run and 2) I’m just two weeks on the other side of re-injuring my foot that had just healed from a dislocation and fracture on December 21st. (yeah, I was in a space boot for Christmas).

So off I went. It was Heaven. My feet pounded the pavement and I sweated like an ice cube in the microwave. I’m in the Blue Ridge foothills right now so there are mountains! Okay, so they’re not really mountains but any incline seems that way to a flat lander. 

After running for over an hour an a half, I faced what I call, Mount Almond. It’s not quite as high as Mt. Mountain runnerEverest. Well, it’s really only a steep hill that ascends for about 200 yards. My legs were melted jello and my heart rate soared. I knew I’d never make the run up. I conceded that some days you win, and some days the mountain wins. I walked up. 

When I arrived back home, a friend asked how my run went. I said, “it kicked my butt. Mount Almond won today, but wait ’til tomorrow!” 

As I lay on the floor stretching out my aching muscles, I realized that’s exactly how being an entrepreneur is. Here’s what I learned:

Mountains Reflecting in Calm Lake1) There will be days when you won’t win. The mountain will. Get over it. 

2) Even when you lose, you still win for lacing on your shoes and running the race.

3) There’s always tomorrow and it’s an equal playing field. Just because you lost today, doesn’t mean you will tomorrow. 

The day before I whooped Mount Almond. It didn’t give up, pick up its pavement and run home. It stayed in the game and was right there waiting for me to challenge it the next day. And tomorrow I’ll attack that hill with all I have.


That’s the spirit of the entrepreneur. We lace on our shoes and run the race. Sometimes we make it to the top. Other times we don’t. man overlooking enormous riverSome days you win,  some days the mountain wins. That’s just the way it is.

When I hobbled upstairs to the shower, a peaceful satisfaction permeated my soul knowing I gave it my all and I left everything out on the road in my longer-than-normal daily run. 

That’s as it should be. That’s how you should live your life, and run your entrepreneurial race. Some days you’ll feel invincible. Other days you’ll get your butt kicked but it’s all good. It’s the wonderful life of an entrepreneur!

What mountains do you have in your life and career? Do you stare it down and give your all to scale it? Or do you decide to not lace on your shoes and run the race? Share it here!

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