Change Archive

 In today’s episode, I interview novelist Beth K. Vogt.  Her second novelCatch a Falling Star,  hit the bookstore shelves yesterday. She candidly shares about life’s story question, “What do you do when life doesn’t go according to plan?”

Author Beth K. Vogt is living her dream

Author Beth K. Vogt is living her dream

 

You can also see an interview I did with Beth on May 1, 2012, the day her first novel, Wish You Were Here, launched.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-ti0X4DRHU

 

 

 

 

 

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Today I am trilled to release my new E-Book:

The Power of ONE: How  Being Authentically YOU Will Change the World

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Look for the request box on the right side of the page. It looks like this:

 

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“The Power of ONE:

How Being Authentically YOU

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 Please let me know how it impacts your life.

 Enjoy today’s podcast!

 

 

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Your Success Guaranteed… Or Your Old Life Back

Posted April 8, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Scared to deathI know you have a dream that you want to accomplish. In fact, it’s building inside you. There’s just one problem. Every night you lie awake and watch as your dream spars with your fear. 

Unfortunately, most of the times fear wins and your dream retreats to some dark corner of your heart to lick its wounds. Before you throw in the dream towel and settle for the mediocre, let me remind you of a couple of things:

1) Fear always shows up. Always. Think about it. Even when you settle for the safe like, you fear you’ll go to your grave without having lived your dream. Talk about building you up for the big letdown.

2) Fear and exhilaration are two sides of the same coin. Instead of worrying when the fear shows up, just spend the coin. 

3) Trying and failing is not a sin. Never trying is the sin.

When you move in the direction of your dream, your success is guaranteed. Well, if you don’t Dream Roadsucceed you can always go back to your old life. What a GREAT motivation!

I have never coached a woman who hasn’t had fear. What’s more, I’ve never done anything worthwhile without fear being my copilot. And, I must admit that I had times in the past when I let that fear drive me in the opposite direction as fast as I could run.

Know what happened? I went back to my old life and it wasn’t fulfilling. I remember the day when fear showed up and I said, “Oh, there you are! I’ve been expecting you.” At that moment, the fear has not had power over me. 

It still shows up. That’s natural. It’s the way we were wired. It’ll show up for you, too, no matter how far you go toward your dream.  What you do in that moment will determine how far you go, toward your dream, or deeper into the life that doesn’t satisfy you.

Mountain SunsetWhy not take steps toward your dream? What’s the worst that can happen? I dare you to take a step. Then another and one more. And when the fear shows up, greet it like an old friend. It won’t be able to control you or talk you out of stopping the dream momentum you’ve built.

Live your dream, one step at a time. Your success is guaranteed… or your old life back. It’s up to you. What will you do?

What’s your dream? I know you have one. Has the fear shown up yet? Share it here!

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The Entrepreneur in Me

Posted March 25, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.
Photo by Mary Denman Mary Denman Photography

Photo by Mary Denman
Mary Denman Photography

I have a confession to make. The thought of being a sole proprietor used to terrorize me into absolute paralysis. It’s true. The only childhood experience I had with entrepreneurship ended dismally with my parents in bankruptcy court.  My family lived on a cash basis from that day forward.

When I grew old enough to work, I felt I needed to play it safe. Work for a big company. There were just two challenges. First, I was a female coming of age at a time when women earned significantly less than men. That’s just the way it was and second, I felt l was in prison. I was miserable!

I could tolerate it as long as I was in learning-all-I-could mode. But as soon as I mastered the knowledge and skill, I quickly became bored and that marked the beginning of the end.

I ran from one company to the other hoping for something that perfect fit. Only, I couldn’t find it. It didn’t exist. Why? ThereBIKE ADVENTURE is not company out there with a title and job description that will utilize my gifts and talents in a way that I feel totally fulfilled.

I’m a misfit. I admit it. I don’t fit the mold. In fact, my native-American mom named me “Winds of Autumn”. She said trying to pin me down to one thing was like trying to capture the winds in autumn and put them in a box.

Mom was right. I see the world around me, learn all I can and then go about sharing that wisdom on a deep, intuitive level. Try writing that into a job description. I’ve learned so much about so many things. My resume’ is so diverse. Here is just a sampling in no particular order:

Police Officer, speaker, fraud prevention, mortgages, Bible school provost, student services director for colleges, singer, author, cross country cyclo-tourist, radio talk show host, marathon runner, guitarist, copy-writer, symphony musician, emergency medicine, tennis professional, foreign missionary, mental health therapist, pastor, teacher, … ummm… just to name a few.

CONTEMPLATION IN THE MOUNTAINSYou may think I’m crazy, perhaps even in need of my own therapeutic services. You may consider me undependable or suffering from attention deficit disorder. Trust me, you won’t be the first. But here’s the truth. I was meant to be an entrepreneur. I love doing new things. I’m always looking for the next, next, next thing. Pure and simple.

Honestly, I’ve failed at more businesses than I’ve succeeded at. That lemonade stand didn’t make a penny. Clearly I had a lot to learn. But, here’s the thing. I learned so much about marketing from that lemonade stand I’d set up on a dead end street on a weekday. Yes, I was too sick to go to school that day<wink>, but that’s for a different blog post.

I appreciate that I live in a country where that is entirely possible. You should, too. The key to my success was recognizing what I love to do, then figuring out a way to earn a living at it. It worked for me. It definitely can work for you, too. Are you ready?

Do you have a dream of your own business? Does that scare you, or excite you? Or both? Share it here!

 

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Say Goodbye to Google Reader

Posted March 18, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

RSS ICONGoogle announced last week they were discontinuing their famous Reader in July of this year. Parting is such sweet sorrow. I’ve grown to love having all the blogs I follow conveniently in one location. It will be sorely missed.

 As an entrepreneur, though, it’s actually really GREAT news for you and your blog. Oh, don’t have a blog? Then stop reading right now and go start one. Go ahead. This post will be here when you get back.

Here’s the thing. Entrepreneurs—yes, this includes all my author friends—want to reach out and connect with as many people as possible. Relationship is key and if they don’t have a specific place to come find you, it becomes wholly impersonal.

Think of it this way. Say you want chocolate. You could go to Wally-world and figure out which of a bazillion isles they stock
the chocolate. You’d eventually find it, then wait in line to have it scanned and bagged. That is so bland and impersonal.

But, what if you went to a little piece of the world called Alderbrook Chocolatiers? They only sell… well, chocolate. You walk Various Truffles
in the door and are immediately greeted by a warm, friendly face and the aroma of what has to be the best chocolate in the world.

Your mouth waters and you can’t wait to sink your teeth into that rich, creamy taste of Heaven.

That’s the difference between having readers get your blog through Google Reader and having it delivered directly to their email every day. Just think, they open their email—you know they all do!—and there you are, personal and present in their space.

Though millions of us will mourn the passing of GR, entrepreneurs will get a huge inheritance by:

Building relationships faster. You can offer to deliver your blog to their email every day. That makes things intimate and accommodating. You can easily subscribe to an auto-delivery system and it does the work for you very inexpensively. I use Constant Contact and highly recommend it.

Inviting them to your house. Virtually speaking, you can open the front door and welcome them into your website that oozes with your brilliance, warmth and kindness. They’d never get that from an electronic reader.

Businesspeople Applauding --- Image by © Royalty-Free/CorbisEarning their trust. When you show up as you promised on a regular basis in their email inbox, and you provide them really great content that does what you said it would do, they will know you’re a woman of your word. Nothing builds trust quicker.

They’ll find help. Your website (or blogsite: I now use these terms interchangeably thanks to WordPress) will contain helpful information, solutions to their problems and when they land there, they’ll feel better about themselves and you.

Death is never an easy thing, not even an electronic reader. I’ll miss Google Reader for sure but am thrilled that I will be able to connect on a deeper level with so many.

If you’re reading my daily blog via Google Reader, please take the time to subscribe to it on my website. Just a couple of clicks and you won’t miss a single issue. And it will be right there waiting for you whenever you want to open it.

My commitment to you is to continue to provide the best content encouragement, enlightenment and education to help you transition from the job you hate to the career you love! Just join my mailing list at: www.RebaJHoffman.com . Or, you can text  COACHREBA to 22828. 

How do you handle changes? Do you figure out another way or just throw in the towel? Share it here!

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Learning to Dance in the Rain

Posted March 15, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Life’s not about waiting for the storm to pass… it’s about learning to dance in the rain”

~Vivian Greene

Rain in Australian RainforestThis past week, we finally ended the month long drought in central Florida. Each afternoon for the last four days, afternoon storms popped up out of nowhere, blew through ferociously were gobbled up by the atmosphere. If you haven’t been in a Florida thunderstorm, it really is a sight to see.

But more Floridians don’t care too much for these acts of nature. It cuts into what would be a perfectly grand day. Natives must split their daily activities into BS or AS, before or after the daily storm. They think it’s a nuisance, mostly because they have never learned to dance in the rain.

If you live in or visit Florida from now until October, you’ll experience the daily showers. No way around it. It’s the Florida lifestyle. I’ve been dodging lightning bolts for decades and have had my share of to the bone soakings. Talk about a bad hair day!

Though the storms do usher in a thick, hot and sticky air, it also provides a natural break in the day. I can run in the morningsRainbow in Trees and do errands or other outdoor activities. Once back home, I hit the office to check tasks off my BS list. When the storms hit, I take a nap. When the storm passes, I’m refreshed and ready to go another round.

Before I learned how to dance in the rain, I’d go to the grocery store and my groceries would get wet. Or I’d go get my hair done just to have it ruined on the way to the car. Education is a beautiful thing and learning to work with what you’ve been given is an exciting proposition.

Here are some things I picked up as I learned to dance in the rain:

Anyone can learn to dance. Yes, even those of us with two left feet and no rhythm. It’s just a matter of setting our minds to work with what we’ve been given. If I choose to live in Florida and it rains every day in the summer, I must either learn to Couple Walking Under Umbrelladance with it or I’m going to get my toes stepped on.

Learn to embrace the storm. Life’s storms are really an amazing display of power. You’ll miss it if you’re not a part of it.

Ride it out. It won’t last long. Florida afternoon thunderstorms rarely last more than thirty minutes. The sun comes back out and dries everything again. After a couple of hours, there are no signs there even was a storm… well, except for the plush green foliage.

Life brings storms. We can’t control that, but we can learn to dance in the rain. Just walk right up to the storms reach out your hand and simply ask, “May I have this dance?”

What showers have you faced lately? Did you dance in the rain or are you still learning? Leave a comment.

  

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What to Do When You’re Feeling Stuck

Posted March 11, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

There are definitely times in our lives when, no matter what we do, we can’t seem to make forward motion. Some obstacle blocks our path and our best laid plans come grinding to a halt. We’re stuck.

If you’ve ever been stuck, you know it really means: Someplace Terminal Unless you Can Kick it. It’s gut-wrenchingly painful and can suck the air right out of your tires. And, no matter whether you live in a mansion with a million dollar salary or in a shanty on welfare and food stamps, stuck is stuck.

I’ve been there a time or two… or a dozen or two… and I’ve learned what to do when you’re feeling stuck. Here are a few tidbits.

Don’t think in Extremes. When you’re stuck, you’ll want to think you’re in or out, with nothing in between. But most of the journey lies between the beginning and the end.

Believe you can get unstuck. You can, you know. Get unstuck, that is. The solution lies within you. You just have to get it out of the trunk just like you would the jack and spare tire when you have a flat.

Decide to get unstuck. It has to come from within you. Sure, someone can come along with the ability to pull you out of the ditch you’ve plunged headlong into, but if you don’t decide to let them help you, you’ll stay stuck in the ditch.

Don’t waste time and energy on blame. Yeah, I know, you’re stuck working a job you don’t like or living in a town you don’t feel a part of. And you blame your boss for transferring you to that horrible town to do that job you hate. Won’t get you anywhere… well, except more stuck. Let it go.

Embrace change. If you’re stuck and you don’t want to be, something’s got to change. You can’t stay where you are if you want unstuck. Change is your new vehicle to get you where you want to be.

Feeling stuck is a bad place to be. It’s painful, boring, and leaves you empty and feeling hopeless. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be. There are things you can do to get unstuck. To move in the right direction. To boldly go where you never ventured before in search of a new life. And you’re completely in control of that. So what’s it going to be? Stuck or unstuck? That is the question.

When was the last time you felt stuck? What did you do? Share it here.

 

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The Number One Thing That Holds Women Back

Posted March 4, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

"The Beginning" Road Sign with dramatic blue sky and clouds.The most common objection I hear from women with entrepreneurial dreams is that business causes too many headaches. It’s daunting to file for fictitious names or learning how to accept payments by credit card. Better leave well enough alone.

That concern is true enough. I’ll give them that. But the only difference between treading those uncharted waters and the life they’re trying to leave is that their everyday stress is familiar. That’s it.

Some stress is a natural—even necessary—part of life. But I see women get so excited about their dream on one day, then completely talk themselves out of it the next because they don’t know how to do something.

In the 1960’s that would have been terrifying. In 2013, almost any information you need is a click away with a Google search.little girl on road

What’s more, with our world having gone viral, it’s possible to start and build a successful business with very little startup funds. That never would have been possible back then.

So what’s behind the number one thing that holds women back? It’s not that they are at the end of their rope and can’t take another micro millimeter of stress. It’s fear. They are petrified to move forward.

Suddenly, when they actually begin going through the steps of establishing themselves as in business, it ignites the fight-or-flight response and many run for their lives. While it’s great to know the adrenal glands are working properly, it will eventually leave you empty.

You see, that dream you have inside you is too important to remain unlived. Sooner or later, you’ll be upset with yourself because hours, days or years went by with your dream in the closet. You’ll have stress… the normal challenges of life, but now you’ll add to it the angst of an unfulfilled dream.

Footbridge Spanning the Base of a ValleySo how do you overcome that?

Take one step at a time. That’s right. Just one step. You can fill out one online form or go to your bank to open your business account. The bankers are really very helpful.

Understand your feeling is normal. I’m sure that didn’t make your fear subside but the knot in your gut will go away as you become more and more familiar with seeing yourself as an entrepreneur.

Cut yourself some slack. It’s ok to shake in your boots. Shaky boots that are taking steps still propel you forward!

Entrepreneurship, while not always easy, really is simple. Business doesn’t have to be complicated. You can do this. I believe in you. You owe it to yourself and the world to live your dream. Make a pact with yourself that you will not be plagued by the number one thing that holds most women back.

Do you have a dream but feel afraid? How have you reacted? What have you done? Share it here. I’d love to hear!

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New Horizons

Posted March 1, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.
Yeah, I was a big chicken

Yeah, I was a big chicken

Thank you all for such a great year of blogging. You have been so wonderful and supportive as I found my voice, shared words of encouragement, wisdom and enlightenment.

Wow, that just sounded like I’m breaking up with you. Not a chance. In fact, I’m taking things to a whole new level starting this month. You all know my passion to help people (especially single women) believe in themselves and live their dream. That’s going to continue. Here’s how:

Audio Podcasts. Starting in March, I’ll be adding a podcast to my block schedule. Why? Well, think about it. You can download it to your i-pod or cell phone, or burn it to a CD. While you’re driving to work you can get encouragement. Does it get better than that?

I've really been working hard

I’ve really been working hard

Guest Experts. Hey, when pursuing your dream, you’ll need expert advice. Some of it I’ll be

able to provide. Some I won’t. From time to time, I’ll bring in experts to share their wisdom with you.

My Biggest Blunder. Hey, I’ve made just about every mistake in the book when it comes to entrepreneurship. In fact, if they paid award money for that, I’d be a billionaire. But why should you make those same mistakes when I can so easily help you avoid them?

I’ll be charging. Ok, not really but I just wanted to make sure you were paying attention. J

It’s been a great year and I look forward to the new one as we take this journey together.

 

I'm ready for the new adventure!

I’m ready for the new adventure!

May you always have a dream in your heart and the courage to pursue it.

What do you think of the changes? Greatest thing you’ve heard all day? Think it stinks? I really want to know! Share it here.

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Hidden in Plain Sight

Posted February 27, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

girl hiding her eyesI recently watched Hunger Games with friends. Those who know me understand this is a radical departure from my typical genre flick but I was up for something new.

I’d never read the books and my only exposure to the movie was a glimpse here and there on the laptop of the airline passenger in the seat beside me on a flight to Kansas City.

The thing that stuck out most in my mind wasn’t the fact that children fought to the death to feed their families in sport. Nor was it computer generated animals that actually killed people. It was the paint.

I was amazed that someone could paint themselves to completely blend into rocks to avoid detection. This young man was NOT a rock. Yet, he was able to apply enough “stuff” that anyone would walk right by him and never even know he was there.

Know what? Answers are like that as well. Just like the white tail deer that cannot be seen in the forest or the cheetah that deerdisappears in the grasses of Africa, blessings are right there in front of you, hidden in plain sight.

Once they are pointed out to you, you clearly see them but if you’re only looking at and for the obvious, you’ll miss out on a lot of really exciting stuff.

Opportunity is normally right there before your eyes at any given time but you can’t see it… at least until you stop gazing at what stands out and find what’s hidden in plain sight.

Here are a couple things you can do to help with that:

Stop focusing and just look. The moment you stop trying to focus your eyes on something, it allows your brain to take in the entire scene and the lion appears. It’s true with opportunity as well. Get the big picture.

Mountains Reflecting in Calm LakeAnticipate what’s hiding. If you know something is there, you then understand all you have to do is find it. That’s half the marathon already run!

I don’t want you to miss the blessings in life that are hidden in plain sight. If you did, you’d miss out on the best part of life. And, it’s right there where you are. Just look and expect to see.

Have you ever passed something up that was right there but you didn’t see it? What was the result? Share it here.

 

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