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Three Feet From Gold!

Posted March 7, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

 

Gold BarsBack during the California gold rush, R.U. Darby and his uncle set out to strike it rich. A relative had discovered what was believed to be a vein of gold. So Darby and his uncle set out to mine it. At first, it appeared they had a prosperous find but it soon disappeared. They searched frantically for where the vein picked up again but finally concluded they were in a hopeless situation. They sold their equipment to a junk dealer and headed home to their old, poor life in defeat.

The junk dealer consulted an engineer and began mining the spot again. He quickly discovered the elusive vein that contained millions of dollars’ worth of gold. He instantly became rich. Where did he find it? Exactly three feet from where Darby and his uncle stopped digging!

Wow what a story! I’m sure you feel that way with your own journey. You are digging and mining. You are sooooooo close to breaking through to your own personal gold mine and yet you give up in defeat. You settle to return to your poor, yet clearly seen lives in defeat. Oh how I want to tell you, “Wait! Just dig another three feet!!”

Even worse, you may be agonizing through a lackluster job. You work at it. And work at it until you are ready to pull your hairDIGGING WOMAN out, throw in the towel, sell your equipment to a junk dealer and quit. You want to run in the opposite direction when you see your work colleagues coming. Nothing you’ve tried has resulted in a breakthrough. What’s the use?! All your efforts are in vain. Why not just sell your resources and go work as a greeter for Wal-Mart, right? Ohhhhhh…. But you are sooooooo close! Three feet away from breaking through to a vein of purest gold!

Hang on. Keep digging, because you are a mere three feet from gold!! That’s the exact height of the net on a tennis court! That’s ONE yard on the football field! That’s three of your brother’s favorite shoes! Hang on!!! You’re almost there!!!

26 Oct 2004 --- Golden Nest Egg --- Image by © Royalty-Free/CorbisOne more shovel full of musky, dusty, black dirt will mean the difference between success and… ummm… you know. Go for the gold!!!! It’s what you do! You owe to yourself to keep digging. My hope and prayer for you is that your shovel always be filled with the last dirt between you and a vein of gold!!

What’s causing you to want to stop digging? Have you hit the rock and feel you’re at a dead end? Need help digging? Share it here. Or you can email me directly at reba@magellanlifecoaching.com. 

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Today, I Choose to be… Courageous

Posted January 30, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

If you’re like most people, your hands started shaking just thinking about being courageous. Life is a frightening proposition. Throw in moving toward living your dream and it’s enough to derail even the best laid plans.

Courage is often misunderstood. Most people think it’s the absence of fear. When they move forward and get the jitters, they think they lack courage. So they abandon their dreams and settle for mediocrity.

 

But here’s the truth about courage:

It’s not the absence of fear. It’s continuing in spite of it. You feel the fear, and do it anyway.

We all have it. Don’t believe me? Remember when you pulled your child out of the street so they wouldn’t get hit by that speeding car? Yeah, that was courage.

Using it is habit forming. It’s there and if you keep it in the forefront of your mind, you get into the groove of leading with courage.

Courage multiplies. Faster than rabbits. The more you use what you have, the more you’ll have.

It builds confidence. Every time you step out on wobbly knees in the direction of your dream and survive it (and you will), it becomes just that much easier to step out at the next opportunity.

My point is simple. Use what you have. You do have courage. You were wired that way. God gave you courage as part of your makeup. Oh sure, you’ll still get jittery when you set out for places unknown. That’s only natural but it should NEVER stop your motion, at least not when you have so much courage inside you.

Here’s a great example. When I was a kid, my older brother and the neighborhood boys jumped off a cliff and landed thirty feet below in the Georgia red clay. I desperately wanted to be one of the guys but every time I walked up to the edge of the cliff, I chickened out. I was just too scared.

I was literally one step away from accomplishing that feat. I didn’t lack the courage. I just didn’t use it…until I jumped. I finally said, today, I choose to be courageous. I mustered the courage I had and took that last leap off the side of the cliff.

No one brought courage to me at the top of the cliff. It didn’t fall out of the sky. I reached deep inside myself and brought that courage to the surface.

You can do the exact same thing that I did when I was eight. It’s there. Somewhere. Find it and use it to get you through those unknowns and scary moments. Let it be the vehicle to take you where you want to be in life. Say to yourself, Today, I choose to be courageous.

What is your experience with courage? Are you fearful? Daring? Share it here. 

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I’m Getting Married!

Posted January 8, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Okay, not really but it did get your attention, didn’t it? I’m sure that just for a second or two you had some type of emotional response. Perhaps excitement in sharing my joy. Or maybe a pang that it wasn’t you.

The truth is everything we see, read, hear and experience influences us each and every day. Often it comes at us with full force, like anger when the bagger at the grocery store packed your bread at the bottom of the bag of canned veggies.

Sometimes, though, it can be more subtle. You may not even notice it but that doesn’t mean it’s not there. Nor does it mean you’re not affected by it. That’s why it is so critical to surround yourself with energizing, encouraging and uplifting input.

Here are a few things you can do that will help you have healthy emotional responses to your surroundings:

Affirm yourself. Yes, I really mean remind yourself of your gifts and talents God has given you. Daily. Several times a day if that’s what it takes. It’s not bragging, just stating fact. When you do, it will build your confidence. Don’t wait for others to do it. It might be a long wait.

Avoid the poop. I’m sure you got the visual of that. After all, Rover just ran into your front yard and emptied his colon. Thanks to the fact that he loves your yard more than his own, your world suddenly really stinks. You sure don’t want to step in that mess. 


Nor do you want to get someone’s stinkin’ thinkin’ smeared all over your emotional carpet. Steer clear of it.

Get the lead out. Maintaining a clear, positive outlook on life takes effort. You have to work at it. You already know this, even if your efforts have been put to use increasing your winning percentage on internet checkers. You can’t sit back, not make a move and expect to win, even against beginning player Igor from Slovania. Nor can you expect to have a positive outlook on life. Contrary to what the song says, the bluebird of happiness doesn’t just fly up your nose.

Seriously, you deserve to be happy, healthy and whole. Don’t let those things that surround you—like my bogus wedding announcement or Rover—influence you to be less that you were meant to be. Purify your life, emotions and influence. You’ll be glad you did.

How are you feeling in your life? Are you getting good or bad influence? Share it here.

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Least Likely, It’s Not What it Used to Be

Posted August 16, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

I recently watched a rerun of the Ironman Triathlon World Championship in Hawaii. This event is the most grueling test of human toughness. It’s painful. It’s agonizing. In some cases, it’s fatal. But when the athlete finally crosses the finish line, the pain is forgotten as they bask in the glory of having accomplished something most humans will never even attempt.

The Ironman World Championship in Hawaii consists of a 2.4 mile swim, followed by a 112 mile bike ride and a 26.2 mile marathon run. All competitors must complete all 3 events within 17 hours. Sound impossible? Well, believe it or not, there are far more athletes who have completed the Ironman than who abandoned it! Amazing!!

Courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net/ Digitalart

In the event I viewed, the oldest women ever in the history of the Ironman started the race. At 76 years old, Sister Madonna Buder lined up with the most elite endurance athletes in the world for a shot at conquering the Everest of triathlons. The gun signaled the start of the race and off she waddled. She barely made a splash as she worked her way through the water.

Courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net/ Wandee007

Sixteen Hours, fifty-nine minutes and three seconds later, Sister Buder crossed the finish line as the last official finisher of the Ironman World Championship! She remains the oldest woman to ever start AND the oldest to finish the race of all races!

Throughout the race, she passed men and women who could not continue. They looked like the best trained athletes in the world. Perfect physique. They had the very best equipment on the planet and yet they could not complete. Buder had none of these things. All she had was a dream of crossing the finish line before the race closed.  And you know what? She did it! With 57 seconds to spare!!!

To this day Sister Buder shares two distinctive titles:

1)  The Least Likely to Succeed

2)  The Oldest Woman Ever to Finish the Ironman World Championship

You see, least likely is not what it used to be. Experts could see outwardly the wrinkles and muscle atrophy. They could see her simple equipment and even have a good laugh but what they could not measure was what was inside her. She had a will to succeed that propelled her forward to overcome impossible odds and cross the finish line, just in the nick of time.

Me Crossing the Finish Line at the Iron Girl

If you have a dream—and you should—don’t let anyone try to tell you that it’s too far-fetched or impossible. Impossible is relative. People like Sister Buder do the impossible every day. Just put one foot in front of the other step after step. You’ll finish.

In the end, whether you cross the finish line 1st or last, finishing the race will put you among the ranks of the elite in the world!

Today’s Challenge:Identify your personal race and what you need to do in order to finish it. Record it in a journal.

What are you “least likely” in? Share it here.

 

 

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Stuck on the Side of the Road

Posted July 30, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

This weekend I took a road trip to northern Florida. Normally I’d avoid the interstate and opt for a more scenic drive but I had an appointment so I needed the fastest route.

Heading north on Interstate 95, I passed several broken down vehicles. I so felt for these individuals. It was in the upper 90’s with no shade, no breeze and no one stopping to assist.

I began to notice the people… no surprise there. Some were angry. They’d kick the ground and punch the sky with clinched fist. Others seemed helpless. They looked as though they could just curl up in a ball and die.

There were also the amazingly resourceful ones. I passed one family with four children who’d found a safe place away from the traffic and were actively engaged in a game of touch football.

One lady had pulled out a chair, attached her umbrella with a bungy cord and sat engrossed in some book. She was oblivious to the hundreds of vehicles zooming by her.

Two elderly men sat facing each other on five gallon paint buckets. A third bucket sat between them holding a checker board. I could not tell who was winning. My guess is both were.

None of these individuals expected to be stranded on the side of the road on a July Saturday. When the unexpected happened, these individuals made a decision to make the best of it. Here are a few things you can learn from them:

Attitude is everything! It won’t always prevent calamity but it will always determine who you get through it.

You are creative. God has given you the ability to figure out a way to endure the challenges in your life and creatively get through to the other side.

You can make the best of anything. I’ve no doubt time passed quickly to those stranded folks. Today rather than talking about how awful their Saturday was, they’re probably playing another game or reading another book.

Remember Charles Dickens’ opening sentence in a Tale of Two Cities: It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. That’s really true of every situation. The good news is that it is all up to you.

You’re controlling whether any situation becomes the best or worst experience of your life. You may find yourself stuck on the side of your life road, but you don’t have to be stranded.

Today’s challenge: Identify the areas of your life where you feel like you’re stuck on the side of the road and list at least three ways you can make the situation better, or easier to endure.

Do you feel stuck? Is it making you angry or are you making the best of it? Share it here. I’d love to hear from you. 

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Finding True North in the Hearts of Others

Posted July 10, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net/ Sommai

There is a wonderful, gratifying feeling you receive when you touch the heart of another human being for good. You glide through your day as if you are walking on air. You’re surrounded by a peace that passes all understanding. There is no greater feeling than knowing something you did or said pierced the heart of another and made a positive difference in their lives.

We’re wired to help each other. To reach out in times of need. To treat them the way we want to be treated. It brings out the best in us and ushers in peace into our own hearts. Here are a few ways helping others helps us more.

Helping others releases happy chemicals. Each time you genuinely reach out to help others in their time of need, it releases specific chemicals in the brain that make you feel really good.

Connecting with another’s heart keeps you anchored. Even if the one you reach out to is a complete stranger, when you touch their heart, it illuminates your own true north. You can see the shore and navigate easily through rough waters.

It gives you a sense of purpose. Having a specific purpose is like the difference between being a bystander and the hero who pries someone out of a crumpled vehicle with the jaws of life.

Reaching out to others helps you sleep. You will have such a sense of peace, when you pillow your head at the end of the day, you will fall into blissful slumber. Your body, mind, soul and spirit will be in one accord. Peaceful slumber will naturally come.

You’ll pay it forward. Yes, it really does work. Give into the lives of others and it will be returned unto you, pressed down, shaken together and running over. There will be a moment in time when you are in need of someone. From seemingly nowhere, a hand will reach out to you, connecting with your heart and pulling you away from the edge of the cliff.

You have opportunities each and every day to reach out to others. To connect with them. To touch their hearts and change their lives. You never know the impact of your reaction to them, right then in that instant. You will impact them, for better or for worse. Choose better. Do good and good will return to you. Change their life and it will change yours.

Today’s Challenge: Find someone to reach out to today and make a positive difference in them today. Record your experience in a journal.

When was the most memorable recent experience of when you reached out to someone? Share it here!

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Resiliency in a Time of Change

Posted June 28, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

 

Courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net/ thanunkorn

I spent yesterday afternoon in a very busy Orlando International Airport. No, not everyone had come to see Mickey Mouse or Universal Studios but most all of those who crowded the security checkpoint had been stranded.

Their original departure dates had been delayed been delayed, compliments of Tropical Storm Debby. Since she decided to hang around for a week off the coast of Florida dumping rain and spawning tornados and flooding, she quickly became Debby Drowner to anyone who visited the Sunshine State.

Since I am painfully shy—ok, not really—I did what I normally do when in a crowded airport: go up to everyone who will converse with me and learn everything I possibly can about them. I quickly discovered their best laid plans had their parade rained on.

In the hours I spent at the airport, going through security, at the gate, I did not find once single person who was upset. Not one! In fact, it was just the opposite. They had figured out a way to enjoy their time in central Florida in spite of Debby.

 I listened as they told story after story of how they turn in their Disney tickets for an indoor attraction or how they spent time at the indoor pool. They were happy, refreshed and rejuvenated. It showed me in no uncertain terms how resilient the human spirit is. You can make any situation a huge success, if you have a mind to.

We are in a time of change. No doubt about that. Sometimes it’s very difficult to adjust to, or even keep up with. But the one thing that will get you through victoriously is attitude. Truth is, in an ever-changing world, the only thing you have absolute and total control over is how you choose to react to it.

It’s in you. You just have to tap into it. Here are a few things to keep in mind that will help you make the best of any change in plans.

 Know everything is temporary. While many Floridians thought Debby would never leave, eventually she did. About 8pm on Tuesday the sun peaked out from under the clouds and a rainbow appeared in the sky.

It’s not the end of the world. Contrary to what you might think, if you miss your flight or have to revert to plan B, you’ll not only live, but you’ll find a whole new adventure awaiting you that you had not even thought of.

There is always an adventure waiting. I’m so glad I met the 271 people I did in Orlando International Airport. I was enriched, excited and totally fascinated by their stories, personalities, backgrounds and lives. I could not have set that win up on my own.

 Life’s going to happen. Things will change. But you, my friend, are still in total control. You are resilient. You have within you the ability to survive, thrive and bring home a huge win!

Today’s challenge: Conduct a checkup from the neck up and identify areas of frustration. Explore at least two ways you could improve your attitude.

How have you been faced with unexpected change lately and how did you handle it? Share it here.

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Getting Past the Internal “No”

Posted June 27, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net/ Stuart Miles

Sounds easy but it’s actually one of the most debilitating challenges you will face in your journey to live your dream. That little two letter word has the stopping power of five foot thick wall of steel.

Let me paint the portrait for you. You are passionate about something and have a dream to make it happen. Usually about two weeks after you begin dreaming, you are bombarded by “no” at every turn. Your friends tell you it’s not worth the effort. Your family suggests a long vacation to get your mind back in check. That’s bad enough but the worst is yet to come.

You maneuver past those naysayer obstacles and forge ahead in search of your incredible future. You fall into bed after a wonderful day of plotting and planning. Things are quiet. And dark. Suddenly, out of nowhere, your chest tightens, your palms sweat and you feel as though you’re going to jump out of your skin…if you life long enough to.

Your mind invents at least a hundred reasons why you should NOT follow your dream. If you listen to yourself, you’ll never, ever do what you’re passionate about. It’s the evil, self-defeating internal “no”.

There are a few things you can do today that will help you run that ugly monster out of your life.

Acknowledge when your internal “no” is shouting its message. Ignoring it or pretending it’s not there will not only be unsuccessful, it will actual harm you in the long run.

Tell yourself the truth. You know, the Bible says that we shall know the truth and that truth will set us free. Most of the time, that internal “no” is way, way off base.

Make a conscious decision to walk in truth. Even if you don’t see all the steps to living your dream, that’s ok. You can still walk in truth. You don’t have to see the whole staircase to take the next step.

Admit your weaknesses and give them to God. That way you and your enemies will not be able to hold you hostage with them. We all have weaknesses. So what? You also have strengths that will propel you toward our goals.

Don’t sabotage your dream by listening to the internal “no”. Put it in its place and move forward.

Today’s Challenge:Identify areas where your internal “no” is holding you back and determine at least two ways to overcome them. Put them into action… today.

When do you hear that internal “no” in your life and what do you do when that happens? Share that with us here.

 

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Never, Never, Never Give Up!

Posted June 26, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net/ Idea Go

Think you have it bad? Want to quit? Feel like you can’t go on? Then continue reading.

Let me introduce you to two individuals. They have every reason to give up. They have an alibi for not trying. Life has not been kind to them. The odds are stacked against them and those who don’t know them gives them little chance of being a success. Yet, they thrive.

Riley Rhoden is six years old boy who lives in Texas. He plays baseball and is very good. He leads his team, the Braves, to victory. When he stands on the pitcher’s mound, he’s a force to be reckoned with. Oh, did I mention he only has one arm?

At age two, Riley was diagnosed with an extremely rare form of cancer. The only chance to save is life involved amputating his entire left arm. But that doesn’t stop Riley. He taught himself how to catch the ball with his glove, toss it up while shedding his glove and throw it. He’s a great hitter, too. He made a decision at a very young age that he was never going to give up. The result? He’s a champion!

Perhaps you think he can do that because he’s a resilient kid. Well, no doubt he’s got guts but that’s not because he’s a little boy.

Meet Jessica Cox. Jessica is a graduate of the University of Arizona. She has had an audience with the Pope and other dignitaries. She is completely independent, drives, and even flies airplanes. She pumps her own gas and puts in her contact lenses… all with her feet. You see, because of a birth defect, Jessica has no arms.

Surely she would not be able to live a normal life and do the things normal girls do, right? Well, right! Her life is anything but normal. It’s amazing, exciting and completely fulfilling. Nothing holds her back. She soars the skies and travels the globe as a motivational speaker.

Riley and Jessica don’t have anything you don’t possess. They just made a decision that they would not give up. They had no control over their arms. They just decided to thrive in spite of what life handed them. And thrive they do.

Maybe life has dealt you a blow or two. Maybe you’re tired, discouraged or looking up to see the bottom. It sure would be easy to give up. Quit. Pack it in. Throw in the towel and retreat to a dark corner of your house. In the moment when you feel that way, just remember Jessica and Riley. Follow in their footsteps. Rise above what’s happening and determine that you will never, never, never give up!

Today’s challenge: remember the last time you felt like quitting. Write it down, along with how you worked beyond that.

When did you feel like giving up? How did you handle it? Why not share it 

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And the Winner Is…

Posted June 24, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net/ photostock

 

Congratulations to Carol W. in Alabama who won the drawing for a complimentary copy of Failing Forward by John C. Maxwell. 

Do you want to be a winner? I will be offering additional complimentary books soon so you’ll want to keep reading. You could be the next winner!

Failing Forward is one of the books that really helped me put things in my life in the right perspective. What book(s) helped you? Leave a comment here.

 

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