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5 Steps to Exploring Your Perfect Career

Posted May 13, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Little Girl on RoadYou may be in a job you don’t like. Okay, I was being diplomatic. Let’s face it. You hate it. It’s a drudgery to drag yourself out of bed each morning. You live for paychecks and paid time off. I know many women like that. That’s why I became a women’s entrepreneurial coach.

Perhaps you know your days are numbered at your current employer but you don’t know what you’d like to do with the rest of your life. You fear that going to work for another employer is jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. But you have to do something. Life is flying by.

Below are suggestions I have for you that will help you in your search for your new career. These really apply to anyone, but particularly entrepreneurial women.

1) Determine what you do that makes you truly happy. Sounds overly simple, yet so many worker bees are so focused on their job for their employer, they don’t take the time to explore it. This is action oriented. Sitting in the recliner with a bowl of popcorn watching reruns of Amos and Andy does not suffice. 

2) Think of ways to make money at what truly makes you happy. Love to play tennis and help people? Well, youDream Road could teach or coach tennis. Love to wood carve but don’t think anyone would buy your trinkets? There’s always a market somewhere. Hey, if rednecks can build a Duck Dynasty  from duck calls, you could sell your carvings.

3) Figure out what a day or week would be like working in your dream career. It might be helpful to talk to those already in the field. Before I became a coach, I spoke to entrepreneurial coach, Rhonda Hess. I really understood what I was getting myself into. So will you.  If your dream career involves a store or office, make arrangements to shadow someone doing what you want to do.

4) Make a list of pros and cons. Being your own boss might be appealing to you. Not having group health insurance may not. Be careful not to allow these to scare you off from thinking about doing your own thing. Clearly, you want a change. This is just a count the cost and know what you’re up against exercise. You’ll go in with eyes wide open.

COMPASS-AND-NOTEBOOK1.jpg5) Settle on Something. Unless your entrepreneurial dream is to own your own dry cleaning business, most likely your business will evolve. No doubt you’ve got at least a billion great ideas for what you want to accomplish. You have to start somewhere or you’ll start nowhere. So, you must settle on a place to start. You won’t be locked into doing that one thing for the rest of your career. It’s just a place to line up and begin your new career.

Really take the time to go through these. Give them some thought. Keep a notebook or journal. Taking steps in the direction of your dreams will boost your morale and help the day job be more tolerable. It will also gear up your heart, mind and soul to transition into your dream career. Go ahead. What are you waiting for?

What is your dream career? Are you having trouble figuring out what it is? Share it here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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So, What Will I Do Tomorrow?

Posted May 3, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Runner Crouching at Starting LineIn 1976, Bruce Jenner won the gold medal in the Olympic Decathlon. He spontaneously ran a victory lap, kissed his wife and basked in the moment he’d dedicated each free moment to for years.

Later that night, while champagne bottle corks popped off to honor his amazing accomplishment, Bruce sat alone in a hotel room and cried. He’d given his all to the decathlon. Every waking moment was spent in pursuit of the gold. Now that he had it, he felt strangely empty, not knowing what he would do now that he reached his goal.

He told an interviewer, “I have no plan. What will I do tomorrow?”

History is filled with individuals just like Bruce who dedicated their entire life to reach a goal, only to be left empty and void. What’s ELDERLY WOMAN THROUGH WINDOWmore, there are some who, instead of setting goals for themselves, they allowed themselves to be lead around by a leash. They have no plans. Life jerks them wherever it wants to each and every day.

We simply must take these following steps. If we don’t, in our finest hour we will sit alone and empty lamenting the question that burns in our soul: What Will I Do Tomorrow?

1)   Understand that you will most assuredly NEED another goal when you reach the one you are currently on. If you don’t have a goal, stop reading this, sit down and set a goal.

2)   Always have the next goal locked and loaded. I have notes and ideas for a book sitting ready to dive into as soon as I reach my current goal. You should always be looking into the future and letting it be a part of your thoughts and planning. When you reach the current goal, after a well-deserved rest, you’ll be ready to start your new chapter.

3)   Stop focusing on the destination. The trip is where the treasure is. Reaching the destination is great, but it’s also the end of that particular journey. If you look to the destination, the second you arrive, it’s over. If you take in all the splendor of the trip, you have wonderful memories to cherish. Not to mention a whole lot of wisdom you gained along the way.

Rocky Top Bikers MSP4)   Take time to celebrate each accomplishment. Bruce may not have thought his improvement in the javelin throw was all that huge a deal in the overall quest of the decathlon gold medal. But, I guarantee you he would not have felt so lonely, lost and empty if he’d taken the time to celebrate those milestones along the route to the victory lap.

So tell me, how would you answer if I asked you what will you do tomorrow?

Do you have a goal? A dream? Does the flame of passion for something burn brightly in your soul? Share it here. 

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Un-bridle Your Brilliance!

Posted April 25, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

race horse grazing 01It’s inside you. A unique genius that makes the world complete is begging to get out of the corral and run like the wind. Yet, it seems stabled, incapable of being set free. Someone—or something—put a bridle on your brilliance.

That was the bad news but there is some very good news. You can be let out of your pin and you’ll be able to run through the pasture completely unhindered. But to do that, you’ll need to determine what bridle has you muzzled.

There are many different things that control us and turn us at their whim. But there are three main ones. If you can identify them and eliminate those binding factors from your life, you’ll be free to roam around unbridled. Here are the top three bridles and ways to free yourself from them.

External Factors. Sometimes there are circumstances that simply stand between you and letting go. You have to chew through the Wild Horse Runningleather if you’re to loosen the control. Perhaps those closest to you provide negative reinforcement. Or maybe your job is so stressful, your creativity has been replaced by survival tactics. Either way, stop what you’re doing and tell yourself the truth. Yes, right now. Go ahead. I’ll wait. Tell yourself out loud how brilliant you are. How gifted and talented you are. Do it every day. Your mind will eventually cut through those external factors and be set free.

The Fear Factor. Brilliance scares us. Why? Because we know that to whom much is given, much is required. That’s an awful lot of responsibility for a wild stallion. Just the thought of it makes us feel like we’re wearing a bridle on top of an ox yoke. No wiggle room and no chance of escape. That just feels… umm… scary. The good news is that you have complete power over the fear factor. No, you may not be able to eliminate fearful thoughts from coming into your mind, but you have complete control over how you respond to them. Make a decision today that, when the fear comes, feel the fear…and do it anyway. Acknowledge the fear as a natural part of the process and move on. Simple as that.

horsesThe Dread Factor. Believe it or not, many people feel that they will suffocate if their brilliance is set free to gallop through an open field. You don’t want to unleash it because it will cause more pain, more stress, more work. But you may not realize the measuring stick you’re using is your current job, life or other situation. They are simply not the same. Work, especially at a job you don’t like, is drudgery. Running with your brilliance is exciting and produces its own energy. It’s not confining but rather expansive. Why? It’s what you were meant to do. Let go of dread and embrace your brilliance.

You were meant to use the brilliance God gave you to create a better world for yourself and others. You simply must set it free. I promise you that, when you do, your spirit will soar!

So what’s keeping you bridled? What’s holding you back from living your dream? Share it here.

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In Honor of Boston: Winning Life From Last Place

Posted April 23, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Girl Crossing the Finish LineThe New York City Marathon is arguably the second all-time greatest marathons in the world. All the fastest runners compete for the gold medal. Everyone who crosses the finish line gets a finisher’s medal. After all, anyone who can keep putting one foot in front of the other for 26.2 consecutive miles deserves one!

Even the slowest runners/walkers make the trek in six hours or less. Except for New York. That marathon holds the world’s record for the longest time ever: over 33 hours. What’s more, the same person has come in last place in the last 23 NYC marathons. Zoe Koplowitz has crossed the line after everyone else for the last two and a half decades.

Think about it. She has viewed her running life from last place. As a runner, I’d be devastated. But not Zoe. She is determined. Dedicated. Daring. You see, Zoe faces every marathon with Multiple Sclerosis and has to have crutches to get around. Since 1987, every November she steps across the start line early on a Sunday morning, signaling the start of her individual race. Sometime the next day, Zoe crosses the finish line to the applause of those who waited for her to cheer her on to victory.

She doesn’t know what it feels like to break the tape with the fastest time. Nor does she get the encouragement of the other “runners”.little girl on road They left her in the dust. No, Zoe pushes herself with an intestinal fortitude that propels her to put one crutch in front of foot, then the other crutch and foot for thirty three hours.

Sometimes I feel like Zoe. Perhaps you do, too. You clearly recognize the view from last place. It seems EVERYONE is ahead of you. But, just like Zoe, you take whatever life has dished out to you, use whatever crutches you have, and slowly put one foot in front of the other. It may take you a lot longer to make it across the finish line but so what?!

Only one person gets the winner’s medal. Everyone who finishes the marathon gets a finisher’s medal. It’s not about coming in first. It’s about finishing the race. The view from last place is amazing when you are running the greatest marathon. So slow down, enjoy the scenery and keep moving forward!

HEADER PICTURE largeThis week, why not ponder these questions regarding what you’d like to do with the rest of your life. I would recommend you start a life plan journal. Think on these things:

      1)   What would I really like to spend the second half of my life doing?

      2)   Where am I right now in relation to that goal?

      3)   What do I need to do in order to get there?

 Finally, ask yourself this:

      4)   Am I willing to do what it takes to live my dream? If not, why not?

Share your plan here in the comments section. I’d love to hear your plan.

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Pat the Post Office Lady, and Why You Should NOT be Like Her

Posted April 12, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Postman delivering mailI got up early to run to the post office. Who knew they’d changed their hours to opening at 10:00am?! The blinds finally came up and the door unlocked. I prided myself for being first in line, and for reserving my new PO box online. This was going to be a quick and easy task to cross off my list. All I had to do was present my two forms of ID and get my key. Well, and as it turns out, survive Pat.

Pat found every way to make my life miserable. Though I had taken care of everything online, she snarled and informed me that she also had to have her own paper trail and required me to fill out the same form I’d done on the internet. But she couldn’t find any record that I had an account because she didn’t listen when I provided her my phone number to look up the account. She incorrectly keyed the number and no one on the planet had reserved a PO Box in this small town using that phone number. 

Pat got in trouble. Her supervisor witnessed the exchange and, while I went to the outer lobby to fill out the same form she had an Jack Russell Terrier Snarlingelectronic version of right in front of her, Pat’s boss gave her a tongue lashing. 

When I returned, even though she still made me go around the block seven times hopping on my left foot, she’d replaced the snarl with a smirl (that’s a smile pasted over a snarl). 

Here’s the deal. Pat just genuinely hates her job. Once I got the key to box 94, I really felt sorry for her. She’s obviously burned out and would rather be doing something else, yet this morning, she begrudgingly put on the blue uniform of an organization she’s probably been with for decades and headed into to what she surely feels is a thank-less dead end job. The result? Exceptionally bad customer service.

I know a lot of Pat the Post Office Ladies. In fact, I used to be one of them. I can still remember how much energy it took for me to drag myself out of bed each morning and head into the job I hated. It’s a horrible way to try to exist. I faked it for a while but then I couldn’t hide my negative feelings, I had to leave. It was best for me, but also for everyone I would have come in contact with on my job.

portrait of a young woman smilingIf you are going through the drudgery of a job you hate but don’t see a way out, please know that you have options. There is always a way out and a way to a new life for you and your family. You just have to find it. You’re not stuck standing behind the counter making an unconscious decision to inflict as much pain as you can on others. There is a way out. And the escape is worth the time it takes to find it!

Have you recently met your own Pat the Post Office Lady? Have you recently become Pat the Post Office Lady? Share it here!

 

 

 

 

 

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Audacity: Someone Repaved Memory Lane!

Posted April 10, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Little Girl on RoadI don’t know about you but I like to be nostalgic on occasion. I moved around a lot when I was a kid and find it settling sometimes to revisit old stomping grounds. A couple of years ago I was in Atlanta and headed up to the find the old homesteads. I have an uncanny sense of direction and had no trouble at all locating what should have been my old back yards.

Norcross Elementary School had been torn down and replaced by suburbia. Brookhaven Elementary had long since gone to that red brick school house in the sky. A state-of-the-art recreation center boldly stood in its place. Ok, so it wasn’t all bad!! J The Marta train system shook the ground beneath my feet where I’d once trod as it roared right through what used to be the woods where I’d built forts and tree houses. I was saddened by it all. While I was away, people just barged in and repaved Memory Lane!

It made me sad. Let the violins play a funeral march while I wipe the tears from my tender young cheeks. It really was disturbing. You Hilly Roadknow why? My mind’s eye viewed my world and me “the way we were” rather than who we’d come to be. It’s a natural tendency. We like things to remain the same. We resist change. We all see the past as it filters through our memory, not the way it actually was.

What I just described is precisely what prevents many people from living their dream. They try to keep their world intact when in fact, that world no longer exists. 

Our memories have a way of blocking out all the negative stuff.

When that happens, what we remember is pretty much a fairy tale. Sometimes that’s a good thing, but not when you’re planning what you’ll do with yourself for the rest of your life.

Women entrepreneurs become them many times as a result of facing the reality that the world they knew has been torn down and they’re standing smack dab in the middle of Interstate Today where Memory Lane has always been.

Perhaps that’s happening for you right now. It can be a sad moment for you but there is a way out of that gloom. You can move on to greater things in life… the life of being an entrepreneur.

"Here & Now" Road Sign with dramatic clouds and sky.When I was wandering around all choked up in what used to be my familiar stomping grounds, I saw happy families with children laughing as they enjoyed life. Only then did I realize my memories were not an accurate recap of what really happened, but rather an embellished fairy tale with princes and queens. I’d created a memory that was perfect and that made the loss excruciatingly painful. I began focusing on the beauty in the new reality and my heart was lifted. I admitted Memory Lane needed to be repaved and the new reality was actually pretty darn great!

What about your memory lane? Does it need to be repaved to make room for the interstate highway to your successful second half of life? I encourage you call the pavers and get started today!

What in your life needs to be repaved? What’s holding you back? Share it here!

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Your Success Guaranteed… Or Your Old Life Back

Posted April 8, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Scared to deathI know you have a dream that you want to accomplish. In fact, it’s building inside you. There’s just one problem. Every night you lie awake and watch as your dream spars with your fear. 

Unfortunately, most of the times fear wins and your dream retreats to some dark corner of your heart to lick its wounds. Before you throw in the dream towel and settle for the mediocre, let me remind you of a couple of things:

1) Fear always shows up. Always. Think about it. Even when you settle for the safe like, you fear you’ll go to your grave without having lived your dream. Talk about building you up for the big letdown.

2) Fear and exhilaration are two sides of the same coin. Instead of worrying when the fear shows up, just spend the coin. 

3) Trying and failing is not a sin. Never trying is the sin.

When you move in the direction of your dream, your success is guaranteed. Well, if you don’t Dream Roadsucceed you can always go back to your old life. What a GREAT motivation!

I have never coached a woman who hasn’t had fear. What’s more, I’ve never done anything worthwhile without fear being my copilot. And, I must admit that I had times in the past when I let that fear drive me in the opposite direction as fast as I could run.

Know what happened? I went back to my old life and it wasn’t fulfilling. I remember the day when fear showed up and I said, “Oh, there you are! I’ve been expecting you.” At that moment, the fear has not had power over me. 

It still shows up. That’s natural. It’s the way we were wired. It’ll show up for you, too, no matter how far you go toward your dream.  What you do in that moment will determine how far you go, toward your dream, or deeper into the life that doesn’t satisfy you.

Mountain SunsetWhy not take steps toward your dream? What’s the worst that can happen? I dare you to take a step. Then another and one more. And when the fear shows up, greet it like an old friend. It won’t be able to control you or talk you out of stopping the dream momentum you’ve built.

Live your dream, one step at a time. Your success is guaranteed… or your old life back. It’s up to you. What will you do?

What’s your dream? I know you have one. Has the fear shown up yet? Share it here!

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Keep Digging!

Posted April 4, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Gold BarsYesterday I was a guest lecturer at a University’s Physician’s Assistant master’s level program. These students are at a point in their training where they’re tired, stressed out, nervous, and in some cases, discouraged and stuck.

Before I delivered my lecture, I told them a true story about a man back east in the 1800′s. He had a dream of striking it rich in the Colorado Gold Rush. He got buy in and investments from many of his relatives, friends and others wanting to cash in. He loaded up a wagon and went west.

After staking his claim in the Colorado Rockies, he began mining. And, he found gold, at least at first. But after mining for a while it seemed his claim dried up. Instead of finding gold, all he found was hard rock. He tried to dig through it but it was backbreaking. He thought of all those back home who believed in him, who expected him to bring back their fortune.

At the height of his disillusionment a junk man passed by and offered to buy his equipment for pennies. He miner gave up everything and headed back east in failure. Meanwhile, the “junk man” knew what was waiting just beyond the rock and began to dig where the miner left off.

Three feet later he broke through to the largest vein of gold in Colorado history. He became a very wealthy man. The miner goldminers26could have as well, if he’d convinced himself to keep digging. He worked several jobs to pay back the money others invested and he died in poverty.

The junk man ascended to wealth and aristocracy. He lived the life of luxury. 

I ended the story by telling these students to keep digging! They’re three feet from gold! 

No matter how tired you are of trying, you must keep digging. No matter how discouraged you feel, no matter how much you want to pack it up and go home, keep digging! Why? In your entrepreneurial dream, right now you are only three feet from gold! KEEP DIGGING!

Rest a while if you must. Regroup and breathe in a new resolve to stick with it. How long? Just three more feet. That’s how long. How l

ong will it take for you to break through? Who knows but you’re three feet from gold. You must keep digging.

Three Feet From Gold Book CoverPlease don’t pack it in. It’s too soon. You’ll soon hit a vein of the purest gold and you’ll fulfill your destiny. Never, never, never give up. You owe it to yourself and to the world. No matter how discouraged, exhausted or disillusioned you become, always remember, your dream is too important to remain unlived!

What are you mining for? Do you feel like you’re about to strike it rich or like you’re up against hard shale? Share it here!

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Work Smarter, Not Harder

Posted April 2, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Car break downEver sit in traffic and notice the looks on the faces of those fellow commuters? Rarely are they positive. In fact, most of them look as though they could pull over to the emergency lane, crawl up into a ball and pass out for a week or two.

One of the biggest reasons for their malaise is that they are working too hard. And, it’s NOT because they have a slave driving boss. It’s because they’re doing the wrong thing! They’re working at a job they are a misfit for.

One of the quickest energy drainers is to feel stuck doing something you don’t enjoy, aren’t suited for and aren’t fulfilled in doing. That’s agonizing. Unfortunately, in some cases, it’s even fatal.

There is no doubt in my mind that we were all placed on this earth for a purpose. We all have gifts and talents that are unique to us. What’s more, I don’t believe we will ever be completely satisfied until we are doing that.

When you are working in a way that utilizes your gifts, you may be tired at the end of the day, but you’re also energized and Great Attitude Girlexcited about tomorrow. When you’re not, you don’t feel at all hopeful about a new day with more of the same old stuff.

Here are some things you can do to help you find that right place in your world:

Admit you’re a misfit. If you’re working at a job you hate and don’t feel you’re making a valuable contribution to your world, you ARE a misfit. Trust me on this. And, you’re in good company.

Dream without limits. If there were no barriers, what would you do for the rest of your life? Would you find a cure for cancer? What about starting your own U-Haul Rental Store? Or a home health agency?

Face the Fear. Friend and coach, Rhonda Hess, says, “To me, fear and excitement are two sides of the same coin that are a natural part of manifesting a big vision, especially one tied to earning a living and our work in the world.” You’re going to face Young Woman Sitting in Front of a Computer and Laughingfear but that exhileration produces is proof that you’re alive!

Decide to work smarter. That means developing a plan to transition from where you are, to where you want to be. It’s rare that a situation exists in a person’s life that would totally prevent them from pursuing their dream in some fashion. Most of the obstacles that stand in their way they placed there themselves.


Look, this is your one shot at life. You’re not in a dress rehearsal. You owe it to yourself and the world in which we live to make sure you work smarter, not harder by doing what you were born to do. You’ll be happier and the world will be better.

Have you found that sweet spot in your job? Do you feel like you’re a misfit in the job you’re doing? Do you hate to go to work every day? Want to change? Share it here.

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The Heart of an Entrepreneur

Posted April 1, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Denim6I had the privilege recently of visiting an old abandoned textile mill in upstate South Carolina. As I walked the grounds peering into the empty buildings, my imagination saw strong men and women taking rolls of cotton and transforming them into clothing.

Today, the building stand as an empty shell and reminder that nothing lasts forever. One of the main reasons is that so many Americans have that pioneer spirit. They want to boldly go where they’ve never gone before in search of the next great thing. 

I have a pioneer spirit. I’ll bet you do, too. You have the heart of an Entrepreneur. You’re not content following in line to walk into a job you hate. No, you want to live life on your terms. 

I’ve met so many people who are heartbroken after decades of service to the same employer but today find themselves sorely unappreciated and as empty as the buildings at this old mill. One by one their faces flashed in front of me as I gazed around this abandoned mill. 

It doesn’t have to be that way. Most of them have the heart of an entrepreneur, but they are afraid. That mill was once a bustling factory, yet today it sat as an empty shell of what used to be. Fortunately, photographer Mary Denman was with me and I was able to capture my thoughts on camera.

I know many of you who so faithfully follow my blog have the heart and spirit of an entrepreneur. I’ve put together a video of my adventure just for you. I hope you enjoy it.

http://youtu.be/dNfc5Mkshxk

I would like to request that you do three things. Think of them as an investment into your future.

1) View this short video

2) Share it with everyone you know. You may have entrepreneur friends who haven’t allowed themselves to think about being one.

3) Complete the contact form to discuss your dream with me in a complimentary discovery call. 

I believe everyone deserves the opportunity to pursue their dreams. To follow their heart. To make a difference in the world in which they live. I want to help you do that.

May you always have a dream in your heart and the courage to make it splendid reality.

What’s your dream? How long have you had that dream? What’s holding you back? Share it here!

 

 

 

 

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