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[Podcast] Episode 003: The World’s Greatest Gift: YOU!

Posted April 17, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

I was excited to talk about my favorite subject today: YOU!  I trust that you will be blessed by it as well. 

 

Listen to Episode 003 Here

Christmas Present Wrapped in Gold and Silver 2000

Show Notes:

Podcast Episode 3: The World’s Greatest Gift: You!

Welcome to this episode of Women of Passion. I’m Reba J. Hoffman and this is THE podcast dedicated to helping women live their dreams. My goal is to give you the tools to help you safely transition from a job you hate to the career you love.

Today’s Episode is Entitled: The World’s Greatest Gift: You!

But first: Today’s Episode is being brought to you by the book:

 

Connections: Social Media and Networking Techniques for Writers

by Edie Melson

 

If you are a writer, entrepreneur or really anyone who needs to connect through Social Media, this is a must read for you. Edie gives clear, concise and easy-to-understand steps to get connected with those who love you and want to follow you.

I believe it is a must-read for entrepreneurs. That’s why you can pick up a copy of Edie’s book by going right to my website:

www.RebaJHoffman.com

 

Today’s Topic: You!

I just love to talk about that topic because YOU really are the World’s Greatest Gift.

I know what you might be thinking: That’s NOT a good thing.

Remember when you were a kid and someone was arrogant? Do you remember how you described them? God’s gift to the human race, or some negative descripter.

But here’s the thing: You really ARE God’s Gift to the world! No foolin!

That’s not a conceded statement at all. Here’s why:

1)   You are uniquely and wonderfully created. No doubt about it.

 2)   You have a purpose on this earth that only you can fulfill. Others could do it, but not like you.

3)   If you don’t do it, there will be a void in the world.

 

So let’s talk about YOU! And I want to do that in terms of your dreams.

It’s true that some people have pipe dreams. For example, if I were to dream of climbing Mount Everest, that would be a pipe dream. Why? No expedition leader would take me. I’m 55 years old. I have 4 fractures in my lumbar spine and I have a shunt in my head. I’d never make it onto an expedition team.

But here’s the thing: I DON’T have that dream. Not even remotely! I LOVE to read about others who do it. I gain courage from that but I personally have no dream whatsoever to plant my photo and flag at the highest place on earth.

But I do have BIG Dreams. So do you, I’m sure.

You may not know exactly what you want to do or how you would go about doing it. But you do have dreams. What’s more, If you do not live those dreams, here’s what will happen:

  • You’ll get to the end of your life and look back with regrets.
  • The world will be a lesser place to be.
  • Someone else will have to do it and won’t be able to do it just like you.

 

FACT: latest polls say 9 out of 10 people in our country do NOT live their dreams in life!

So, if that’s true (and it is), then why do so many people not live their dreams?

The greatest reason for everyone who doesn’t life their dream is:

FEAR!

Pure and simple. They are afraid. They feel the fear and stop. They become anxious and run in the other direction.

The next greatest reason is:

UNBELIEF

No, I’m not referring to not believing they will actually stand on the finish line. Most people don’t believe in themselves. How sad that is!

No one likes a cocky person who thinks they are perfect in every way but most people I meet have gone to the opposite extreme. They have grown up not believing in themselves and their abilities.

But today, I want you to know and embrace who you are. Your uniqueness, gifts and talents.

I want you to understand how powerful you are and that you are a piece of the puzzle that will be missing from our world if you don’t plug in.

The world’s GREATEST gift—in your own unique way—is YOU.

Questions:

I had several listeners submit questions for today’s topic. Here are a couple of them.

Daisy asked: how can I be the world’s greatest gift and still be humble?

Gretchen asked: I know a lot of people who think they are, you know, “all that”. How can I be truly myself and walk in the power of me without becoming one of those people I hate?

How do you feel about yourself? Do you believe you are the world’s greatest gift? Why or why not? Share it here! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Most Valuable Thing: YOU!

Posted March 21, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Me in SmokiesI’m truly amazed when I meet people who don’t know or understand their value and worth. When I look at people, I see 10’s on each one of their heads. I see bright, shiny objects with priceless value. Trouble is, most people don’t see that when they look at themselves in the mirror.

It’s sad because either live has led them to believe something to the contrary, or they have been blinded to the truth. Perhaps that has happened to you in your life. Someone or something has driven in the belief that you are valueless. That simply isn’t true. I want to give you some truth that will prove you are not value-less, but rather priceless! The two could not be more different.

You are unique…one of a kind… are rare find. Ask any curator of rare art and they will tell you they simply cannot put a price on, let’s say, the Mona Lisa. She’s unique. You won’t find her on isle seven at the local discount store. Well, you’re a Mona Lisa in your own right but I can’t even call you that because you’re even more unique than her. They cannot put a price tag on you for the same reason they can’t do that to her. You’re both priceless.

Your flaws only increase your value. It’s true. No matter what the flaw, its uniqueness makes it more valuable. Don’t pondering womanbelieve me? Then go to the department store and check the price tag on those jeans they sell with all the holes in them. It’s enough to break your bank account.

No one sees the world like you do. Only you can look through your eyes and offer a unique perspective. You are the only one who puts your spin on the world. A thousand people who see the very same event will have a thousand different reports of that event. It’s impossible to fabricate your view of the world around you. What’s more, the world needs your individual view. It won’t be the same without it.

Please do yourself and the world a favor and just believe that you have immense value and worth. If anyone tells you something different, please don’t believe them. They may even be well-meaning but they simply aren’t telling you the truth. You are PRICELESS!

HAPPY SMILESchallenge: Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how valuable you are. Judge your reaction. Is it confirming? Disbelieving? Fearful? Write it down and set a goal to uproot the cause of that.

Do you believe how valuable you are, not only within but to the world? Do you struggle with that? Share it here!

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Today, I Choose to be… Courageous

Posted January 30, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

If you’re like most people, your hands started shaking just thinking about being courageous. Life is a frightening proposition. Throw in moving toward living your dream and it’s enough to derail even the best laid plans.

Courage is often misunderstood. Most people think it’s the absence of fear. When they move forward and get the jitters, they think they lack courage. So they abandon their dreams and settle for mediocrity.

 

But here’s the truth about courage:

It’s not the absence of fear. It’s continuing in spite of it. You feel the fear, and do it anyway.

We all have it. Don’t believe me? Remember when you pulled your child out of the street so they wouldn’t get hit by that speeding car? Yeah, that was courage.

Using it is habit forming. It’s there and if you keep it in the forefront of your mind, you get into the groove of leading with courage.

Courage multiplies. Faster than rabbits. The more you use what you have, the more you’ll have.

It builds confidence. Every time you step out on wobbly knees in the direction of your dream and survive it (and you will), it becomes just that much easier to step out at the next opportunity.

My point is simple. Use what you have. You do have courage. You were wired that way. God gave you courage as part of your makeup. Oh sure, you’ll still get jittery when you set out for places unknown. That’s only natural but it should NEVER stop your motion, at least not when you have so much courage inside you.

Here’s a great example. When I was a kid, my older brother and the neighborhood boys jumped off a cliff and landed thirty feet below in the Georgia red clay. I desperately wanted to be one of the guys but every time I walked up to the edge of the cliff, I chickened out. I was just too scared.

I was literally one step away from accomplishing that feat. I didn’t lack the courage. I just didn’t use it…until I jumped. I finally said, today, I choose to be courageous. I mustered the courage I had and took that last leap off the side of the cliff.

No one brought courage to me at the top of the cliff. It didn’t fall out of the sky. I reached deep inside myself and brought that courage to the surface.

You can do the exact same thing that I did when I was eight. It’s there. Somewhere. Find it and use it to get you through those unknowns and scary moments. Let it be the vehicle to take you where you want to be in life. Say to yourself, Today, I choose to be courageous.

What is your experience with courage? Are you fearful? Daring? Share it here. 

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Today, I Choose to be… Happy

Posted January 29, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

When I first saw the book Happiness is a Choice by Dr’s Frank Minirth and Paul Meier, I snarled at the horrible untruth in its pages. After all, neither of these men knew what I was going through. My world was difficult. Challenging. Depressing. And these so called therapists had the unmitigated gall to say I could choose to be happy?

Ummm… yes. I could. So can you.

Viktor Frankl was a Jew captured during World War II and taken to Auschwitz, the Nazi death camp in Poland. He and the other prisoners had to stand for hours naked in the snow. They were stripped of everything. Yet, through it all, Frankl was upbeat and positive.

Finally, he was brought before the commandant of the prison camp who demanded to know why he could possibly be so positive at the death camp. That officer could have killed him on the spot but Viktor dared to be honest. He told him that the Nazis could strip him of all his belongings, food, water and life, but the one thing that was solely his and his alone was how he chose to respond to it. He then laughed in the German officer’s face.

Know what they did? They were afraid to kill him but they also knew his attitude would soon spread throughout the prison camp. So, they released him. Literally, Frankl’s attitude got him out of the worst prison camp of the war.

It’s true that we all face circumstances in our lives. Perhaps you’re wrestling them right now. Yes, I see that cringe. Perhaps your spouse is not only on your last nerve, he actually saddled it up has been riding it for months. Or, maybe you’re in a dead end job where you’re overworked and under-appreciated. Maybe you suffered a tragic loss that rocked your world.

In most cases, no matter what the challenge, you really can choose to be happy in spite of it. Barring a chemical imbalance in the brain, you really can be happy. It’s up to you. Here are some things about being happy that I learned along the way:

You are in control of it, not your circumstances. Many times circumstances are unavoidable but how you react to them is all you.

Happiness is learned. It’s true. One of the happiest people I know is Clark Howard. If you live in the southeast and have heard his radio program, you’ve never heard him as anything but Mr. I-Love-Life! You can learn to be happy as well.

Happiness has benefits. Let’s face it. When was the last time you went out of your way to connect with a person who is pessimistic and grumbles all the time? No, you avoid that person. But don’t you long to be around that happy person? When you decide to be happy, people will flock to you. You’ll never be lonely.

As bitter a pill as it may be to swallow, happiness really IS a choice and we have total control over the decision. At the beginning of the day, why not make the conscious decision to be happy? You’ll live a much more fulfilled life if you do.

Are you happy? Do you struggle with this? Share it here and be entered into a drawing for Happiness is a Choice by Dr’s Frank Minirth and Paul Meier.

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The Great I AM

Posted July 16, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net

Words have enormous power. Just speak them and they set off a chain reaction in your body that creates a reality based on what you said. That’s why it’s important that you’re telling yourself the right thing.

What is it that you want to accomplish in life? What is your dream? To be a dancer? To publish that best-selling novel? What about finding the cure for cancer? No matter what noble quest you have in your heart, one of the key strategies to success is speaking it.

Whatever it is that you are working towards becoming, tell yourself “I AM that”. Want to lose weight? Don’t say, “I hope I’ll be able to slim down.” Instead proclaim, “I AM on a plan to live healthy and change my weight.”

That’s precisely why athletes say they are a champion. And you thought it was because they were arrogant? Well, for some, perhaps, but most of the time it is to get their body and mind in line with their dream of being a champion.

When you say, “I AM”, you release the creative juices that put you in the best posture to reach your goal successfully. I’m not suggesting a name it and claim it or blab it and grab it mentality. No matter how many times I say, “I AM 25 years old”, it ain’t gonna happen. Likewise, I can say, “I AM the world’s champion at the Ironman Triathlon” and I’ll not be, mainly because I’m not going to go swimming in the ocean.

And the great news? You are in total, complete, 100% control over what comes out of your mouth. Your words are yours and yours alone. You can speak positive things into your life or sabotage your dream.

No matter what others say, regardless of the current circumstances, you can change your life by speaking powerful words into them. Watch what you say. It really does matter!

Today’s challenge:listen to what you say today about yourself, your dream and your future and determine if it’s creating positive energy or depleting it. Write it in a journal, along with positive affirmations you could replace it with.

What are some of the positive or negative things you say about yourself, your life and your dream? Share it here!

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Getting Past the Internal “No”

Posted June 27, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net/ Stuart Miles

Sounds easy but it’s actually one of the most debilitating challenges you will face in your journey to live your dream. That little two letter word has the stopping power of five foot thick wall of steel.

Let me paint the portrait for you. You are passionate about something and have a dream to make it happen. Usually about two weeks after you begin dreaming, you are bombarded by “no” at every turn. Your friends tell you it’s not worth the effort. Your family suggests a long vacation to get your mind back in check. That’s bad enough but the worst is yet to come.

You maneuver past those naysayer obstacles and forge ahead in search of your incredible future. You fall into bed after a wonderful day of plotting and planning. Things are quiet. And dark. Suddenly, out of nowhere, your chest tightens, your palms sweat and you feel as though you’re going to jump out of your skin…if you life long enough to.

Your mind invents at least a hundred reasons why you should NOT follow your dream. If you listen to yourself, you’ll never, ever do what you’re passionate about. It’s the evil, self-defeating internal “no”.

There are a few things you can do today that will help you run that ugly monster out of your life.

Acknowledge when your internal “no” is shouting its message. Ignoring it or pretending it’s not there will not only be unsuccessful, it will actual harm you in the long run.

Tell yourself the truth. You know, the Bible says that we shall know the truth and that truth will set us free. Most of the time, that internal “no” is way, way off base.

Make a conscious decision to walk in truth. Even if you don’t see all the steps to living your dream, that’s ok. You can still walk in truth. You don’t have to see the whole staircase to take the next step.

Admit your weaknesses and give them to God. That way you and your enemies will not be able to hold you hostage with them. We all have weaknesses. So what? You also have strengths that will propel you toward our goals.

Don’t sabotage your dream by listening to the internal “no”. Put it in its place and move forward.

Today’s Challenge:Identify areas where your internal “no” is holding you back and determine at least two ways to overcome them. Put them into action… today.

When do you hear that internal “no” in your life and what do you do when that happens? Share that with us here.

 

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More Than You Can Chew

Posted June 4, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Me Crossing the Finish Line at the Iron Girl

Saturday afternoon, I was itching for a long run. I laced on my running shoes, grabbed a bottle of hydration and headed out into the afternoon. There was just one problem. It was 98 degrees. The wind was blowing pretty hard so I passed it off and hit the road. The afternoon Florida sun assaulted me as I pounded the pavement but I didn’t care. I was doing one of the things I love to do, run.

About three miles into the run, I felt myself losing energy. The heat from the asphalt felt like it would melt my shoes. If I could just rotate, I’d be a roasting rotisserie. Everything within me wanted to head into the mall, call a cab ride home with my tail tucked between my legs. I’d bitten off more than I could chew.

Suddenly something rose up within me and the words rose from my gut and out through my lips, “Heart of a Champion.” It began as a whisper… a transient thought that blew away on the wings of the wind. But it grew louder each time it escaped from the depths of my soul until finally I began to shout, “I have the heart of a champion!”

I kept running, pushing through the inferno. In just a few minutes, I ran across the finish line, the entrance to my community. Just moments before, I felt like quitting. No one would have held it against me. In fact, most people stared at me with amazement that I would be crazy enough to run in the middle of the Florida summer heat. When I got home and into the air conditioning, I felt like I’d won the race! Indeed, I had!

I learned some things during that endurance run that will help you in your own race:

1) It’s ALWAYS possible to finish the race. As long as there is a breath of life, there is hope of accomplishing what you set out to do.

2) Never, never, never give up. Your best steps might just be those you take right after you wanted to give up.

3) If you follow your heart will guide you home. My heart was greater than my fatigue. So is yours. Let your heart lead you.

I bit off more than I could chew on Saturday, but through it all I was able to dig deep and eat the elephant. I’m no one special. You have that same capability inside you. Tap into it. Use it for your own success. Listen to your heart and it will show you the way home.

Today’s Challenge:Write down one of your goals and commit to continue past the point when you want to quit.

When was the last time you bit off more than you can chew and what did you do?

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Three Reasons Why Failing is Good

Posted May 29, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Freedigitalphotos.net/ Stuart Miles

I know what you’re thinking. Reebs has finally gone off the deep end. She’s finally lived up to her reputation of being totally crazy. Well, though my reputation does accurately precede me, this is completely true.

Failing, while not a comfortable event that we wake up each morning hoping we’ll have, is a very good thing. Here’s why.

1) When we fail, it shows us what doesn’t work. That sounds like a platitude but it’s not. If you’re busy pursuing your dream and you fall flat on your face, there’s no doubt in your mind that what you’ve been doing will not net you success. That’s a GREAT thing. You can now cross that off your list of things to try. It narrows the playing field. It points you closer to the direction that will cause you to succeed.

2) It ignites your tenacity. As I’m writing this, I’m watching the women’s college softball super regional tournament. The winners go to the world series next week. The teams play the best of three games. Georgia lost the first one yesterday. They came out with a new commit. Their throws are sharper. Their concentration is solid. And, they’re winning. They played good yesterday. You don’t get to the super regionals by playing mediocre. No, they’re a great team but when they failed in yesterday’s game, it caused something incredible to rise up within them that champions are made of.

3) Failing keeps us humble. One of the worst mistakes an entrepreneur, writer, CEO, department manager or anyone else can make when they are successful at something is to become arrogant. When we approach our dream from a point of humility, we are more mindful of how hard we need to work. It keeps our nose to the grind and our creativity flowing. Great things can happen when we are humble, hard-working and creative.

My greatest successes of my life have occurred on the tail end of the most agonizing defeats. I’m so grateful for them. Unfortunately, I meet and work with clients often who were pursuing their life-long dream, experienced failure, and abandoned their dream altogether. How tragic!

Think of your dream as coin, perhaps a large solid gold piece. It has immense value and worth. That coin also has two sides to it, heads and tails. It is both sides of that gold piece that makes it hold its value. Your dream is exactly the same. One side of your coin is succeeding and the other is failing. They are two sides to the same coin and cannot be separated. It takes both sides to make it the valuable tender it is.

When you try and fail, you are already ahead of everyone who never tried. That’s not a bad position to be at all, is it?!

Today’s challenge:Write down the most recent time you tried something and failed. Then write down ways in which that failing is valuable to living your dream.

Did you try something and failed? How did that make you feel? Did you overcome that? Share here by leaving a comment. 

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Out of the Abundance of the Heart

Posted May 22, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Last November, I had the privilege of attending the first book launch of debut Christian Fiction author Lisa Jordan. The drive from the airport in Buffalo, NY through the hills of rural Pennsylvania was breathtaking. When I pulled into small town, PA, though I’d never been there before, I felt strangely comfortable, like I was coming home.

I drank in fall colors and each street I turned down was a Norman Rockwell painting of absolute splendor. I suddenly was homesick for yesteryear, in the town of tradition, where people live in tranquility.

The next day, Lisa was so gracious as she signed copy after copy of her new book to new fans who waited in line. Finally, the last book was signed, the final photo was taken and the room went dark. Lisa had completed the first of what I’m sure will be many book launch celebrations.

Author Lisa Jordan

With that behind us, I set out alone to explore this precious town. I found a path that ran along the river as it snaked through town. It was covered in bright yellow hickory leaves. Roots protruded like mountains above a yellow fog.

I rounded a bend and froze. There it was. Less than a mile from Lisa’s house was the cover of her book! Lakeside Reunion had come to life right around the corner. She didn’t know it. She had no idea that scene was there. The cover designers at the publishers didn’t either. But right there in Lisa’s hometown sat the essence of her heart, and her novel.

Photo I Took

 

The cover designers heard the cry of her heart that issued forth from each page of her novel. They created a picture of Lisa’s heart and perfectly captured who she is and what her book is all about. And they don’t even know her.

Why am I telling you this story? Because Lisa is authentic. No matter where you come into contact with her, you meet the same person. Her books are authentic as well. She writes from her heart and it comes out in every scene, each chapter and all her books.

If you live your life like Lisa Jordan, you’ll show up authentic each and every day. You’ll live your life

Cover of Lakeside Reunion Published by Love Inspired

from the heart and it will spill out over the pages of your life with honesty and integrity. Everything you touch will be totally and completely YOU. It happens automatically. You don’t have to work at it. It’s already in your heart and out of the abundance of your heart the world will be graced with your beauty.

I’m very proud of my friend, Lisa Jordan, and her career as a Christian Romance Author. I’m even more proud that she is authentic, so much so that cover artists thousands of miles away can hear the cry of her heart and create a scene that is in her own back yard without her even knowing.

Do you show up authentic every day? Do you allow the world to hear the cry of your heart? Leave a comment here, and be entered to win a free copy of Lisa Jordan’s debut novel, Lakeside Reunion. 

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Trust in the Nature of You

Posted May 21, 2012 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

The Friends in My Back Yard

This morning I sat on my deck overlooking the lake as central Florida woke up to a Sunday. I watched as a lily white whooping crane spread his massive wings, fly out over the water and bring back a little fish. It was comical how it slithered down his narrow throat.

A white ibis rooted out grub worms with his long, slender bill while a young squirrel hung to an oak tree enjoying his morning acorns. In the distance, a black cormorant walked to the shoreline underwater, then spread his massive black wings in the sun to dry. I was struck at how naturally these creatures just did what they do. No fretting. No worrying about whether they should do it. No wondering what the other would think.

Acorns: the Breakfast of Champions

Each approached life very differently. The crane flew for food and ate fish. The white ibis dug deep for earth worms. And the squirrel stayed up in the tree and fed off nuts. Yet they were all at peace. They lived and did their thing cohabiting with each other. The squirrel never tried to fly and the crane did not try to pluck acorns out of the oak tree.

I began to wonder what the world would be like if we all lived our lives this way. How much peace would you have in your life right now if you just did what you were created to do? What if you got up on a Sunday morning and just accepted who you are and go about your day doing what feels natural to you?

I believe that is the natural order of things. How God created us. Just like my feathered friends, we have a distinctive purpose. What’s more, we instinctively know what we are supposed to do and how we are to do it. Problem is, we’re watching the squirrels eat nuts when we’re supposed to be grabbing fish from under the surface of the water on the fly.

As you begin a week, I urge you to be who you are. Do what you were created to do. Don’t worry that you can’t walk underwater like the cormorant. Be the best YOU that you can be.

This week’s challenge: Take the time to identify where your place is in this world and who you were created to be. If you’re not living that, determine why and commit to taking your rightful place.

So what do you think your natural self looks like? Tell me about the authentic YOU. When you enter a new day, do you show up completely authentically you? Why not share it here!

 

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