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Just DO It!

Posted May 19, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Single wheelchair athlete in action during a marathon.I meet people almost every day who have incredible dreams of great worth. They research what it would take to accomplish it. They talk to experts in that field and get tips and pointers. They pray or consult professionals.

Then it happens. They just repeat the process. Somewhere along the journey, they jumped right onto a carousel and just keep going around in circles. Why? Well, there are several reasons.

It’s comfortable. Staying in the exploration phase keeps you safe and snuggly. No turtle ever had to stick his neck out as long as he stayed inside is nice, hard shell.

It’s familiar. You know what to do. Google has become your best friend. You get encouragement and positive affirmation from those2036_bmxyou query. That releases the feel good chemicals in your brain.

There’s no risk. When you’re going around in circles not really moving anywhere, there is absolutely no risk. And if you don’t risk anything, you may not win, but you think you won’t lose.

It’s free. Advice and opinions are plentiful and you can gorge yourself on an elephant’s worth without even pulling out your credit card. It’s like millions of free movies you can watch 24/7 with an $8.00 Netflix account.

Almost makes circling on the colorful horse inviting, doesn’t it? But here’s the thing. At some point, the ride will end. It always does and you’ll stumble off to the exact same spot as where you got on, only now you’re dizzy and disoriented.

woman sailing 01You have total and absolute control over your actions. You can start living your dream today. Yes, any wise journeyman will do your research and count the cost. But don’t keep counting the beans when you should be throwing them in the pot and cooking them.

 Sometimes others can tell if you’re riding the merry-go-round of procrastination but many times, only you know. Deep down in your heart, the truth is there. If you need years to research, train and execute your dream, so be it.

If you’re circling the park, get off your carossel high horse and JUST DO IT! Don’t go around another time. Get off and go somewhere!

Do you feel like you’re not getting anywhere? What’s causing it for you? Share it here!

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5 Steps to Exploring Your Perfect Career

Posted May 13, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Little Girl on RoadYou may be in a job you don’t like. Okay, I was being diplomatic. Let’s face it. You hate it. It’s a drudgery to drag yourself out of bed each morning. You live for paychecks and paid time off. I know many women like that. That’s why I became a women’s entrepreneurial coach.

Perhaps you know your days are numbered at your current employer but you don’t know what you’d like to do with the rest of your life. You fear that going to work for another employer is jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. But you have to do something. Life is flying by.

Below are suggestions I have for you that will help you in your search for your new career. These really apply to anyone, but particularly entrepreneurial women.

1) Determine what you do that makes you truly happy. Sounds overly simple, yet so many worker bees are so focused on their job for their employer, they don’t take the time to explore it. This is action oriented. Sitting in the recliner with a bowl of popcorn watching reruns of Amos and Andy does not suffice. 

2) Think of ways to make money at what truly makes you happy. Love to play tennis and help people? Well, youDream Road could teach or coach tennis. Love to wood carve but don’t think anyone would buy your trinkets? There’s always a market somewhere. Hey, if rednecks can build a Duck Dynasty  from duck calls, you could sell your carvings.

3) Figure out what a day or week would be like working in your dream career. It might be helpful to talk to those already in the field. Before I became a coach, I spoke to entrepreneurial coach, Rhonda Hess. I really understood what I was getting myself into. So will you.  If your dream career involves a store or office, make arrangements to shadow someone doing what you want to do.

4) Make a list of pros and cons. Being your own boss might be appealing to you. Not having group health insurance may not. Be careful not to allow these to scare you off from thinking about doing your own thing. Clearly, you want a change. This is just a count the cost and know what you’re up against exercise. You’ll go in with eyes wide open.

COMPASS-AND-NOTEBOOK1.jpg5) Settle on Something. Unless your entrepreneurial dream is to own your own dry cleaning business, most likely your business will evolve. No doubt you’ve got at least a billion great ideas for what you want to accomplish. You have to start somewhere or you’ll start nowhere. So, you must settle on a place to start. You won’t be locked into doing that one thing for the rest of your career. It’s just a place to line up and begin your new career.

Really take the time to go through these. Give them some thought. Keep a notebook or journal. Taking steps in the direction of your dreams will boost your morale and help the day job be more tolerable. It will also gear up your heart, mind and soul to transition into your dream career. Go ahead. What are you waiting for?

What is your dream career? Are you having trouble figuring out what it is? Share it here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[Podcast] Episode 6: What to Do When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan with Beth K. Vogt

Posted May 8, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

 In today’s episode, I interview novelist Beth K. Vogt.  Her second novel, Catch a Falling Star,  hit the bookstore shelves yesterday. She candidly shares about life’s story question, “What do you do when life doesn’t go according to plan?”

Author Beth K. Vogt is living her dream

Author Beth K. Vogt is living her dream

 

You can also see an interview I did with Beth on May 1, 2012, the day her first novel, Wish You Were Here, launched.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-ti0X4DRHU

 

 

 

 

 

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Don’t Do Social Media

Posted May 2, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Baby Using ComputerWhen I was first told I needed to get into social media, I balked. I mean, why would anyone want to read about the fact that I got up this morning and put my contact lenses in and let the dog lick me in the mouth, or that I prefer movie theaters where I’m in charge of putting my own butter on my popcorn?

Useless, wasteful jibber-jabber. The only saving grace was that Twitter only allowed 160 characters of it. 

I fought the whole social media as a marketing tool for a long time. And with good reason. Even in a short quip, no one wants to be sold. All those companies who once spent millions to “sell” you in TV commercials have now hired social media marketers who bombard your feeds with why you should buy from them.

But, just like the interruption TV marketing, they’ve got it all wrong. As an entrepreneur, a writer, or a business owner, you shouldn’t Big Sale sign in red over white backgroundtry to sell them at all. You should try to build a relationship with them. If they like you, they’ll buy from you.  When they know and  trust you, they’ll recommend you and your books, products or services. 

Social Media is not a business task you check off your “to-do” list. If you treat it that way, those who  follow you will see right through that and will soon un-follow you. If you built up a degree of trust, you’ll quickly lose it and, once you do, it’s almost impossible to get it back.

That’s why I tell everyone; DON’T DO SOCIAL MEDIA!!!!

The key is to CONNECT with them. Learn about them. What challenges do they have? Why are they pursuing what they do? If you’re a writer, how do your readers feel? What’s going on in their world? 

Friends Photographing ThemselvesWhy do you care? Because if you don’t care, you’re doing the wrong thing with the wrong people. If you’re a writer and don’t give a hoot about those who pick up your books, do the world a favor and become a hermit. If you are a women’s coach and you don’t feel anything when they tell you about their fear, look for another profession as quickly as you can.

Technology is GREAT, but as human beings, we long for and deserve connection, not to be bombarded with sales tactics through the free medium of social media platforms. I learned this valuable lesson from my good friend, Edie Melson, author of the new book: Connections.  In fact, I feel so strongly about this message, I’m interviewing her tonight at the My Book Therapy Open House.

If you want to learn how you DON’T DO SOCIAL MEDIA, you really should come to this one hour event. I’ve learned so much from Connections CoverEdie about how to connect with friends around the world, I was transformed from a “I hate and will never do social media ever!” to a lover of connecting with those who want to make a difference in this world. 

It’s free and open to everyone, but particularly for writers and those with a dream of being a published novelist. 

Tonight: 8pmEDT: www.anymeeting.com/MBTOpenHouse1

I urge you to come and learn how to connect so you can also say: DON’T DO SOCIAL MEDIA!

Have you been marketed by companies on social media? Have you felt like doing social media would make you a cheesy cutthroat who sells knockoffs out of the trunk of your car? Share it here!

 

 

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Un-bridle Your Brilliance!

Posted April 25, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

race horse grazing 01It’s inside you. A unique genius that makes the world complete is begging to get out of the corral and run like the wind. Yet, it seems stabled, incapable of being set free. Someone—or something—put a bridle on your brilliance.

That was the bad news but there is some very good news. You can be let out of your pin and you’ll be able to run through the pasture completely unhindered. But to do that, you’ll need to determine what bridle has you muzzled.

There are many different things that control us and turn us at their whim. But there are three main ones. If you can identify them and eliminate those binding factors from your life, you’ll be free to roam around unbridled. Here are the top three bridles and ways to free yourself from them.

External Factors. Sometimes there are circumstances that simply stand between you and letting go. You have to chew through the Wild Horse Runningleather if you’re to loosen the control. Perhaps those closest to you provide negative reinforcement. Or maybe your job is so stressful, your creativity has been replaced by survival tactics. Either way, stop what you’re doing and tell yourself the truth. Yes, right now. Go ahead. I’ll wait. Tell yourself out loud how brilliant you are. How gifted and talented you are. Do it every day. Your mind will eventually cut through those external factors and be set free.

The Fear Factor. Brilliance scares us. Why? Because we know that to whom much is given, much is required. That’s an awful lot of responsibility for a wild stallion. Just the thought of it makes us feel like we’re wearing a bridle on top of an ox yoke. No wiggle room and no chance of escape. That just feels… umm… scary. The good news is that you have complete power over the fear factor. No, you may not be able to eliminate fearful thoughts from coming into your mind, but you have complete control over how you respond to them. Make a decision today that, when the fear comes, feel the fear…and do it anyway. Acknowledge the fear as a natural part of the process and move on. Simple as that.

horsesThe Dread Factor. Believe it or not, many people feel that they will suffocate if their brilliance is set free to gallop through an open field. You don’t want to unleash it because it will cause more pain, more stress, more work. But you may not realize the measuring stick you’re using is your current job, life or other situation. They are simply not the same. Work, especially at a job you don’t like, is drudgery. Running with your brilliance is exciting and produces its own energy. It’s not confining but rather expansive. Why? It’s what you were meant to do. Let go of dread and embrace your brilliance.

You were meant to use the brilliance God gave you to create a better world for yourself and others. You simply must set it free. I promise you that, when you do, your spirit will soar!

So what’s keeping you bridled? What’s holding you back from living your dream? Share it here.

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Your Success Guaranteed… Or Your Old Life Back

Posted April 8, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Scared to deathI know you have a dream that you want to accomplish. In fact, it’s building inside you. There’s just one problem. Every night you lie awake and watch as your dream spars with your fear. 

Unfortunately, most of the times fear wins and your dream retreats to some dark corner of your heart to lick its wounds. Before you throw in the dream towel and settle for the mediocre, let me remind you of a couple of things:

1) Fear always shows up. Always. Think about it. Even when you settle for the safe like, you fear you’ll go to your grave without having lived your dream. Talk about building you up for the big letdown.

2) Fear and exhilaration are two sides of the same coin. Instead of worrying when the fear shows up, just spend the coin. 

3) Trying and failing is not a sin. Never trying is the sin.

When you move in the direction of your dream, your success is guaranteed. Well, if you don’t Dream Roadsucceed you can always go back to your old life. What a GREAT motivation!

I have never coached a woman who hasn’t had fear. What’s more, I’ve never done anything worthwhile without fear being my copilot. And, I must admit that I had times in the past when I let that fear drive me in the opposite direction as fast as I could run.

Know what happened? I went back to my old life and it wasn’t fulfilling. I remember the day when fear showed up and I said, “Oh, there you are! I’ve been expecting you.” At that moment, the fear has not had power over me. 

It still shows up. That’s natural. It’s the way we were wired. It’ll show up for you, too, no matter how far you go toward your dream.  What you do in that moment will determine how far you go, toward your dream, or deeper into the life that doesn’t satisfy you.

Mountain SunsetWhy not take steps toward your dream? What’s the worst that can happen? I dare you to take a step. Then another and one more. And when the fear shows up, greet it like an old friend. It won’t be able to control you or talk you out of stopping the dream momentum you’ve built.

Live your dream, one step at a time. Your success is guaranteed… or your old life back. It’s up to you. What will you do?

What’s your dream? I know you have one. Has the fear shown up yet? Share it here!

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The Entrepreneur in Me

Posted March 25, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.
Photo by Mary Denman Mary Denman Photography

Photo by Mary Denman
Mary Denman Photography

I have a confession to make. The thought of being a sole proprietor used to terrorize me into absolute paralysis. It’s true. The only childhood experience I had with entrepreneurship ended dismally with my parents in bankruptcy court.  My family lived on a cash basis from that day forward.

When I grew old enough to work, I felt I needed to play it safe. Work for a big company. There were just two challenges. First, I was a female coming of age at a time when women earned significantly less than men. That’s just the way it was and second, I felt l was in prison. I was miserable!

I could tolerate it as long as I was in learning-all-I-could mode. But as soon as I mastered the knowledge and skill, I quickly became bored and that marked the beginning of the end.

I ran from one company to the other hoping for something that perfect fit. Only, I couldn’t find it. It didn’t exist. Why? ThereBIKE ADVENTURE is not company out there with a title and job description that will utilize my gifts and talents in a way that I feel totally fulfilled.

I’m a misfit. I admit it. I don’t fit the mold. In fact, my native-American mom named me “Winds of Autumn”. She said trying to pin me down to one thing was like trying to capture the winds in autumn and put them in a box.

Mom was right. I see the world around me, learn all I can and then go about sharing that wisdom on a deep, intuitive level. Try writing that into a job description. I’ve learned so much about so many things. My resume’ is so diverse. Here is just a sampling in no particular order:

Police Officer, speaker, fraud prevention, mortgages, Bible school provost, student services director for colleges, singer, author, cross country cyclo-tourist, radio talk show host, marathon runner, guitarist, copy-writer, symphony musician, emergency medicine, tennis professional, foreign missionary, mental health therapist, pastor, teacher, … ummm… just to name a few.

CONTEMPLATION IN THE MOUNTAINSYou may think I’m crazy, perhaps even in need of my own therapeutic services. You may consider me undependable or suffering from attention deficit disorder. Trust me, you won’t be the first. But here’s the truth. I was meant to be an entrepreneur. I love doing new things. I’m always looking for the next, next, next thing. Pure and simple.

Honestly, I’ve failed at more businesses than I’ve succeeded at. That lemonade stand didn’t make a penny. Clearly I had a lot to learn. But, here’s the thing. I learned so much about marketing from that lemonade stand I’d set up on a dead end street on a weekday. Yes, I was too sick to go to school that day<wink>, but that’s for a different blog post.

I appreciate that I live in a country where that is entirely possible. You should, too. The key to my success was recognizing what I love to do, then figuring out a way to earn a living at it. It worked for me. It definitely can work for you, too. Are you ready?

Do you have a dream of your own business? Does that scare you, or excite you? Or both? Share it here!

 

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Don’t You Dare Give Up!

Posted March 20, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Think you have it bad? Want to quit? Feel like you can’t go on? Then continue reading.

Let me introduce you to two individuals. They have every reason to give up. They have an alibi for not trying. Life has not been kind to them. The odds are stacked against them and those who don’t know them gives them little chance of being a success. Yet, they thrive.

 

Riley Rhoden

Riley Rhoden

Riley Rhoden is six years old boy who lives in Texas. He plays baseball and is very good. He leads his team, the Braves, to victory. When he stands on the pitcher’s mound, he’s a force to be reckoned with. Oh, did I mention he only has one arm?

At age two, Riley was diagnosed with an extremely rare form of cancer. The only chance to save is life involved amputating his entire left arm. But that doesn’t stop Riley. He taught himself how to catch the ball with his glove, toss it up while shedding his glove and throw it. He’s a great hitter, too. He made a decision at a very young age that he was never going to give up. The result? He’s a champion!

Perhaps you think he can do that because he’s a resilient kid. Well, no doubt he’s got guts but that’s not because he’s a little boy.

Meet Jessica Cox. Jessica is a graduate of the University of Arizona. She has had an audience with the Pope and other

Jessica Cox

Jessica Cox


dignitaries. She is completely independent, drives, and even flies airplanes. She pumps her own gas and puts in her contact lenses… all with her feet. You see, because of a birth defect, Jessica has no arms.

Surely she would not be able to live a normal life and do the things normal gals do, right? Well, right! Her life is anything but normal. It’s amazing, exciting and completely fulfilling. Nothing holds her back. She soars the skies and travels the globe as a motivational speaker.

Riley and Jessica don’t have anything you don’t possess. They just made a decision that they would not give up. They had no control over their arms. They just decided to thrive in spite of what life handed them. And thrive they do.

Me at Iron Girl Finishing the Race!

Me at Iron Girl Finishing the Race!

Maybe life has dealt you a blow or two. Maybe you’re tired, discouraged or looking up to see the bottom. It sure would be easy to give up. Quit. Pack it in. Throw in the towel and retreat to a dark corner of your house. In the moment when you feel that way, just remember Jessica and Riley. Follow in their footsteps. Rise above what’s happening and determine that you will never, never, never give up!

Today’s challenge: remember the last time you felt like quitting. Write it down, along with how you worked beyond that.

When did you feel like giving up? How did you handle it? Why not share it 

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Say Goodbye to Google Reader

Posted March 18, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

RSS ICONGoogle announced last week they were discontinuing their famous Reader in July of this year. Parting is such sweet sorrow. I’ve grown to love having all the blogs I follow conveniently in one location. It will be sorely missed.

 As an entrepreneur, though, it’s actually really GREAT news for you and your blog. Oh, don’t have a blog? Then stop reading right now and go start one. Go ahead. This post will be here when you get back.

Here’s the thing. Entrepreneurs—yes, this includes all my author friends—want to reach out and connect with as many people as possible. Relationship is key and if they don’t have a specific place to come find you, it becomes wholly impersonal.

Think of it this way. Say you want chocolate. You could go to Wally-world and figure out which of a bazillion isles they stock
the chocolate. You’d eventually find it, then wait in line to have it scanned and bagged. That is so bland and impersonal.

But, what if you went to a little piece of the world called Alderbrook Chocolatiers? They only sell… well, chocolate. You walk Various Truffles
in the door and are immediately greeted by a warm, friendly face and the aroma of what has to be the best chocolate in the world.

Your mouth waters and you can’t wait to sink your teeth into that rich, creamy taste of Heaven.

That’s the difference between having readers get your blog through Google Reader and having it delivered directly to their email every day. Just think, they open their email—you know they all do!—and there you are, personal and present in their space.

Though millions of us will mourn the passing of GR, entrepreneurs will get a huge inheritance by:

Building relationships faster. You can offer to deliver your blog to their email every day. That makes things intimate and accommodating. You can easily subscribe to an auto-delivery system and it does the work for you very inexpensively. I use Constant Contact and highly recommend it.

Inviting them to your house. Virtually speaking, you can open the front door and welcome them into your website that oozes with your brilliance, warmth and kindness. They’d never get that from an electronic reader.

Businesspeople Applauding --- Image by © Royalty-Free/CorbisEarning their trust. When you show up as you promised on a regular basis in their email inbox, and you provide them really great content that does what you said it would do, they will know you’re a woman of your word. Nothing builds trust quicker.

They’ll find help. Your website (or blogsite: I now use these terms interchangeably thanks to WordPress) will contain helpful information, solutions to their problems and when they land there, they’ll feel better about themselves and you.

Death is never an easy thing, not even an electronic reader. I’ll miss Google Reader for sure but am thrilled that I will be able to connect on a deeper level with so many.

If you’re reading my daily blog via Google Reader, please take the time to subscribe to it on my website. Just a couple of clicks and you won’t miss a single issue. And it will be right there waiting for you whenever you want to open it.

My commitment to you is to continue to provide the best content encouragement, enlightenment and education to help you transition from the job you hate to the career you love! Just join my mailing list at: www.RebaJHoffman.com . Or, you can text  COACHREBA to 22828. 

How do you handle changes? Do you figure out another way or just throw in the towel? Share it here!

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Step… and the Path Will Appear

Posted March 12, 2013 By Reba J. Hoffman, Ph.D.

Stone STepsRelax ladies. I’m not going to suggest you jump headlong into the scary terrifying darkness of the unknown. That would be suicide. But so would not doing anything at all.

Here’s the thing. That dream in your heart won’t go away. You may drown it out temporarily but it will remain there. It’s meant to be there. Why? It’s your destiny. Your gifts make room for you. That’s Biblical.

I’m not suggesting you sell the ranch, buy a Harley and set out across the country on a whim. But I am highly recommending you begin to take steps in the direction of your dreams.

I talk and work with women all the time who are paralyzed in an unhappy existence because they are afraid to take the first step. They can’t see what’s out there. So they stand still. They just don’t know that if they could step and the path will appear.

Here are some facts about that:

Taking one unseen step is rarely fatal. What’s more, it’s rarely wrong. You’re an intuitive woman. Trust that gift GodHIKING IN SOUTHERN INDIANA has given you.

The path usually doesn’t appear until we take the step. It’s called faith and even Mrs. Chicken Little has some. God made sure of it.

It makes you feel better. An entrepreneur in motion most likely will stay in motion. Especially a woman entrepreneur. And moving toward your dream has healing qualities.

It gets easier. After you take the first step, your confidence grows and you’ll eventually love the thought of the next step.

Taking that step changes you. Once you take a step, your mind, will and emotions transform into a new and amazing you.

Dream RoadOne thing I tell my clients is that life is going to happen whether you’re living your dream or not. Life is life and if you’re going to have challenges anyway, why not experience them while you’re moving toward the life you envision for yourself?

I know it’s not easy but it does get easier the more you do it. Seriously, if you don’t believe me, just take a step… and the path will appear.

What step do you know you need to take but have been holding back? What’s stopping you? What are your fears? Share it here! 

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